


City of Unimaginable Sins

by Kantharion



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Adommy - Fandom, Tommy Joe Ratliff - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantharion/pseuds/Kantharion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes life takes turns you didn't expect, in places you didn't think you end up, with people you never thought you'd be with....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flicking Cards

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to my patient and loving beta Jillian. Thank you, boo.  
> Not sure yet how many chapters it's gonna be. Still writing it...  
> Thought are in Italic.  
> Enjoy! And let me know what you think.

Chapter 1 Flicking Cards

 

‘Fuck off!’

It wasn’t the first time Tommy Joe had been snapped at or nearly got his head bitten off and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last time. It came with the job, a job he reluctantly accepted since he hadn’t been able to do what he really wanted to do. And a job he’s sure wouldn’t make his mother proud. But then again, he never had been able to get as much as a smile on the face of his fucked up excuse for a mother.

‘Hey TJ, where’s your mind at? You just let two wasted desperadoes pass by, that’s not what we are paying you for, remember?’ ‘Fuck you, butt head’ he mumbled in response, putting back the earplugs of his iPhone. He loved going through his playlist using shuffle. Listening to Nine Inch Nails sure made this standing in fucking 107°F somewhat bearable.

He flipped the small cards, flicking them very fast against his other hand, before offering them to the next tourist passing by. The flicking sound usually got their attention, and most men; single, married, young, old, drunk, sober... they took the cards from him. Even a decent amount of women, too.

Tommy Joe looked at the whore on the cards he was flicking. Huge silicon filled tits, horny smile, a bright yellow photo-shopped star covering the real deal between her obscenely widened legs and a phone number in red numbers across the side.

He had seen a gazillion of them, all inviting those who wanted, to call this or that number to get in touch. To do the nasty with these ‘willing’ girls. There was a card for every sane and sick tendency you could think of: the huge boobs-fixation, the curved ass-lover, the teenage girl/young virgin-craver, the grandma-teaser, the big momma-grabber. Everything everyone could ever want to see, grab, suck, lick or fuck (or get grabbed, sucked or fucked by) was available here on the street corners of fucking Las Vegas.

Somehow, the cards never did it for Tommy Joe, though. He liked his women a bit more classy and hard-to-get. The pouted mouths, big tits, wet pussies and hollow gazes made his dick soft. But on the streets of Vegas, he seemed to be the exception to the rule.

Tommy Joe had learned a lot and had learned fast, since he ended up in Sin City number one some six months ago, fleeing the hellhole he had been living in. He had planned to move to LA, get a decent job and maybe even find a band, that needed a guitarist, to play in on evenings and weekends. But as had happened before, he let himself be talked into something completely different, into moving to Vegas this time instead, by his buddy Mike.

‘Come on, Tommy Joe, loads of bands there, you’ll find one, I’m sure. You’ll get to play every night at some awesome bar and we can have so much fun. The city is nuts, just like us! Just us buddies. It’ll be like, The Hangover part III, TJ and Mike style!’

Yeah, that really worked out great... NOT. God, it had taken Mike less than a fucking month to get a girl knocked up. Then the idiot decided to marry her in a cheap sorry-ass chapel downtown and now he was working two jobs, trying to feed her and the unborn baby.

Buddies having fun... one night a month at best.

And of course he hadn’t been able to find a band, or a job for that matter. So when he got offered to stand in the streets annoying people flicking cards at them, it didn’t make his dreams come true, but it did however supply a check every month, in a city where 1 out of 8 people was unemployed and many of them ended up homeless. Sad but true, Tommy Joe considered himself lucky at this point. As he did standing at his street corner.

 _The guy fucking struts,_ Tommy Joe thought. Every afternoon at two and every night at 2AM, this tall bloke strutted by. _As if he freaking owns the strip_. More often than not dressed in black skinny jeans, some kind of weird boots and -he had to admit- great shirts. His sunglasses covered most of his face, but Tommy Joe had seen his blue eyes when the guy chatted with the lesbo, raising funds for the homeless opposite of where he stood.

Every day Tommy Joe saw hundreds of people passing by, but none of them annoyed the shit out of him as much as this guy.

A couple of weeks into his new job when Tommy Joe hadn’t gotten the hang of it just yet... just offering the cards to everyone in the same way, instead of targeting his audience. He had flicked a card at the black haired guy. It had been a slow morning, three of them standing in front of Harrah’s. The guy had looked him straight in the eye, slowing his pace. His gaze had wandered to the card, then back to Tommy Joe, disapproval gleaming clear and intense.

Getting up in Tommy Joe’s personal space the words the tall man almost spat his words: ‘Those girls are someone’s mother, sister or daughter. Have you ever thought of that, you sleaze bag? Doesn’t that bother you? What if it was your sister on that card, huh?’ And then he had continued his path, leaving Tommy Joe baffled.

Of course, Tommy Joe had heard thousands of remarks like that, before and after, but somehow they never had looked down their noses the way that condescending piece of shit had done. And there and then Tommy Joe had decided he never disliked anyone as much as he did him.

 _What the actual fuck? He just tried to make a living here, tried to earn some money to get food and water to keep his jeans from falling down his already almost non-existent ass. He shouldn’t be judged for that. As if he could change anything in this fucked up place, as if he was somehow responsible for the sick choices these girls made in life or the bastards who forced them to be what they are._

Now, every time the asshole, looking all high and mighty, passed by, Tommy Joe felt his gut clench and his blood boil. And thus, Tommy Joe made a full on show of ignoring him.

Twice a day, every day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Born and raised on the west coast of the US, Adam never thought he would end up making a living in the middle of the desert. But the theatre group he was with at age 25, had taken it up upon themselves to make it in the city of show and glitter.

And they had actually done quite well. Their Vegas adaptation of Guys & Dolls played at Mandalay Bay six times a week and had gotten raving reviews in the first few months. After that, they had a steady audience, close to full house every performance.

Being the understudy for one of the male leads meant he played Sky Masterson twice a week, on Alex Gooden’s nights off. The rest of the week he was happy to be part of the ensemble.He got to sing and dance his ass off and that was what it was all about.

Getting to and from the Bay had become a nuisance. Somehow, some day, he had started to look past the lights, the glamour, the fun, the tongue-in-cheek Vegas and begun to see its ugly faces. The sadness of poverty and homelessness in streets of utter abundance.

The sick ease with which people spent thousands and thousands of dollars inside the shops and casinos, while at the same time literally stepping over the unfortunate souls, that had come looking for love, luck and freedom, but hadn’t found any. And all the women up for sale, either in person at night or on sickeningly obscene cards offered during the day. It got to him, a bit more every day.

One afternoon he just snapped. Seeing the new guy in front of Harrah’s, obviously not caring or even knowing what seeds in cosmic karma he was planting, he hadn’t been able to keep it in anymore.

He wanted to shake him and his ‘colleagues’, two of which were women for god’s sake! The widened brown eyes of the guy he chose to have a go at, in response to his growl about these girls being someone’s mother or sister, hadn’t given him the satisfaction he had expected though. It actually had made him feel bad, guilty even... and intrigued.

The eyes had shown so many emotions, so fast and so easily to read. And he was cute... gorgeous really, if you took the time to look past the hideous baggy jeans and the orange t-shirt screaming ‘Two hot girls for the price of one. Call now!’ He looked... out of place.

But he continued his way to the Bay, not looking back, still convinced he did and said what needed be.

On his way back, he somehow felt the guy’s glare before he actually saw it. The indignation flaring in the brown eyes. The next day, he got the same disregard in an obvious way. The guy ignored him in a way no one but Adam noticed. But the message was clear; you’re a big goddamn son of a bitch and I hate you for talking to me like that.

As much as he tried to tell himself he didn’t care, Adam just did. He really didn’t like making people feel unloved, unworthy, unwanted. With already so much hate and judgement in this world, he always put it upon himself to make a positive contribution. To inspire, to help people become the best versions of themselves they could possibly be. And passing this guy twice a day, being looked at like that, proved to be a constant reminder of an epic fail on his part to do so.

It nagged him, started to eat away at him. After a week, more often than not, the brown eyed card-flicker was the last thing on his mind when he went to sleep in his two-bedroom apartment, as well as he was the first thing when he woke up.

On the ninth day he decided, he had to make amends.


	2. Look again

**Chapter 2**

 

When the son of a bitch actually had the nerve to come up to him, ignoring the death glares he was giving him, Tommy Joe felt his nostrils widen in anger. If he had been a raging bull, this would have been the time he would have started scraping his hoof.

Defiantly he looked into the blueish, greyish eyes; With a ‘What The Fuck Do You Want?’ shooting from his own.

‘Eh... yeah... ehm... hi.’  _Jeeeezzzz_ , Tommy Joe thought, _are you fucking kidding me? What’s with the pathetic mumbling?_ ‘ I... eh... well... I’m Adam and well... I... just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said two weeks ago. And... ehm... just... also for the way I said it. Okay?’

‘Okay? OKAY?? Fuck man, get out of my way. I’m working here, you know?’ He raised his voice, making sure his peeps knew something was up and they may need to back him up. ‘Do you actually think I give a damn about you apologising to me? Do you think I give a damn about what you said? Hell, I don’t even remember what you said. Who the hell do you think you are, sick fucker?  Now fuck off!’

He tried to move around the tall man and started flicking his cards to the first person he saw coming. But a large hand grabbed his wrist, preventing him from making the flicking sound. Their arms and sides touched. The guy turned only his head, his mouth near Tommy’s ear, his breath ghosting his cheek, his voice soft and low.

‘Look, I know you do remember, and I know I hurt you. I also know you have been ignoring me, to let me know I wronged you. And I did. I am... sorry...I still hope it got you thinking, though, about what you are doing here. You don’t belong here, you know? You’re not like them. Please... wanna grab some coffee and talk?’

Looking around he saw Donny, Jay and Regina turn towards them, ready to help him. A quirk of his eyebrow would be enough for this man holding his wrist to be tucked into an alley behind him and get the crap beaten out of him.

As if he had read his mind, the hand lost its hold and found his shoulder with a quick squeeze. ‘Okay, fine. No coffee. I’ll leave. Just...’ his gaze was gentle, accepting defeat and then he walked off.

‘Loser’ Tommy Joe huffed and he watched the guy’s shoulders crunch at that. The nails of his fingers bore into his palms as he tightened his fists from pure anger. Anger towards that self-righteous twat, but even more towards himself. _Why hadn’t he responded to that? Why hadn’t he assured the bastard that he could take care of himself? That he had no right to talk to him like that, two weeks ago and even now?_ _He was such a fucking loser._

And upon meeting Jay’s eyes, anger turned into rage. _Great, now he had just undone everything he worked for since he came here. The respect and position in the group his big mouth had gotten him, had been diminished in under two minutes. He was going to have to fight again as one of the pack, instead of one of the alphas. Goddamnit._

That night at one thirty, when he was finally done for the day, he decided to get some drinks and pussy at a night club. Last Saturday he went to Tao, but there had only been arrogant rich broads, probably staying at the Venetian with their rich husbands, who were busy playing poker while their wives found themselves some boy toys to play around with.

Not him though, he would not let them blow him with that expensive lipgloss and well-coiffed hairdos, even if he was able to get it up. So this time he decided to go to Pure. He couldn’t care less about Ceasar’s, having seen the tv series Rome twice, he hated to look at everything cheap and fake in the hotel and casino. But the night club was just on the right side of sleazy. And there were always nice, well curved, just a bit too drunk but still in control chicks to hunt for. He would get drunk, he would get laid, but it wouldn’t be too easy. Just the way he wanted.

Tommy Joe had never been much of a dancer. Sure, he liked to bounce around on stage, losing himself in the music, whipping his hair. But dancing in clubs just made him feel awkward. He felt most at ease just leaning against the bar, holding his JD and browsing the crowd. As usual, there were some overeager girls flirting with him, trying to get him to dance with them, but he turned them down. So not drunk enough for that.

Letting the buzz, brought upon him by his third glass of JD settle nicely in his head and body, he was ready for some action. Actively looking around, taking a seat near the dance floor, he searched a ‘get-laid-candidate’. Although he hated the music, the thumpa-thumpa coming from the boxes so loudly he could feel it in his gut, he loved how it enticed the ladies to shake their butts as if their lives depended on it.

Even the ones he would really rather not wake up next to in the morning, could make his dick jerk by moving those rounded asses just the right way. God, he was such an ass-man. Always was, always will be.

The screeching and squeaking made him look to his right, where there seemed to have formed a circle around a couple dancing and entertaining the crowd. Anticipating a couple of hot broads, Tommy Joe moved forward to have a look, already adjusting his junk to give it space to grow. It wouldn’t take him long in this state to have a raging hard-on, just from looking at the moving curved asses.

His nose crunched when he saw it weren’t women making everyone lose it, they were men!Two men moving to the music, one grinding his ass in the groin of the taller one, his hands moving up and down his body from behind.

 _Gays_ , Tommy Joe huffed, turning around. _Them and black guys, the only ones who could dance like that, making women drool, fucking not fair._

A particularly loud scream made him look again; the smaller man had turned around and had kneeled down, his face close to the taller man’s groin, looking up adoringly at the... _WHAT THE.....FUCK???_

Tommy Joe’s eyes squinted... he took a step forward and looked again... And just when he realised it actually WAS the god damn smug bastard who faked an apology today, the black haired man turned his head and looked straight at him.

The surprise was as evident in his face as it was in Tommy Joe’s. Both stoodthere, staring at each other as if frozen to the ground. Tommy Joe saw the man moving his head down just a bit, the blue eyes turning a shade darker, looking at him from under his dark brows. Without losing eye contact, the man reached to touch the back of the head of the guy sitting on his knees in front of him. Quirking an eyebrow, still looking straight at Tommy Joe, pouting his lips with an incredible subtlety, he moved his hips forward, excruciatingly slow and deliberate.

The dancing crowd around them started screeching and whistling even more, aroused by the porn-in-clothes-show they got for free. Tommy Joe wanted to move, he really, really, wanted to fucking move... but it felt like someone had glued him to his place. His eyes darted across the floor from the haunting face to the small man taking it as if it was all he ever wanted. He had opened his mouth for real now, moving his lips over the bulge in the tight jeans in front of him. And as he playfully bit down, a mouthed growl by the taller man reached Tommy Joe’s eyes.

Tommy Joe saw him looking away and down to the boy sitting on his knees, the look on his face full of promise that he would devour him any moment if he kept doing that.

 _Adam_... he thought... _the guy’s name is Adam_.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

O... M... G...! O... M... F... G...!!!! The letters were thrown across the floor in a far too highly pitched voice and a woman flung her arms around Adam. Her body aligning with his. ‘It IS you! I thought it was... and it is... IT IS!!’ Adam’s eyes flew open. W _hat the fuck is happening?_

Between nearly getting blown through his jeans and eye-fucking the cute card-flicking guy, he had definitely not expected a fan throwing herself at him. _How is this happening? It’s just... I mean... Really???_

‘Yes... it is you... and I love you, do you know that? I do!’ She slurred, the glass of Baileys in her hand obviously not the first she drank that evening. She turned him around, leaving the kneeling guy strikingly odd exposed with his mouth wide open, now looking at Adam’s butt.

‘Adam Fucking Lambert!!! You…. Were…. Aaammaaaazzziiingggggg in Guys and Dolls! Really, you were. I have never, NEVER I tell you, seen a better Sky Masterson before. Oh... and when you did that tango with her... I just... I nearly came... I did. Right there, in that theatre at the Bay. I did. Oh, just...’ Only by turning his head at the speed of light **,** Adam was able to redirect the pouted lips to his cheek. The thought of them actually hitting his mouth as she intended, nearly made him gag.

He loved fans, he did. He loved getting compliments about his singing and his performance, but there was something as too much. And then there was something as completely out of your fucking mind!

Adam thanked the universe for the man, almost running towards them, probably the husband. The man grabbed his wife by the shoulders and pleaded Adam’s understanding with his eyes. ‘I am SO sorry. She gets a bit carried away, especially when it comes to you. My sincere apologies, mr. Lambert.’ Then he turned towards her ‘Come on, sweetheart, Adam has heard enough. I’m sure he gets that you liked his performance. Yes, he is amazing, I know. Yes, I think so too, now... come...’ While he dragged her away from him, Adam looked up, looking into the very amused face of the card-flicking guy, his mouth in a content smirk.

 _Well fuck it_ , Adam thought. _At least the women that bother me, have been enjoying my performance as an actor in an actual theatre. When women botherhim, it’s because they got sick of being used and abused._

With that, he turned around to his twink, who’s starry eyes told Adam he was still up for everything he had to offer. He grabbed his hand and took him outside. He so needed a blow job right now.

 


	3. Alley Cat

Tommy Joe watched Adam disappear, the twink hopping after him like a bunny in heat. He turned around to the bar, ordering another shot.

Guys and Dolls at Mandalay Bay…There were three or four shows right now lots of tourists were raving about. Celine – I’m sexy as hell even if I’m the only one who seems to think so – Dion, Phantom of the Opera, Blue Man Group (if you’re into that kind of multimedia performance art) and….Guys and Dolls.

He had seen the Blue Man Group, had been fun…Phantom of the Opera was way too expensive and they would have to keep him at gunpoint  for him to sit through the wailing of Skeletine Dion. He had thought about going to Guys and Dolls, just hadn’t gotten to it yet. And now…now he knew this self-indulged prick had the lead in that. Sipping his drink, Tommy Joe couldn’t decide if knowing this meant he had to go, if only to throw rotten tomatoes at his singing face, or never wanted to set foot in that theatre…ever.

His phone told him he had to get back to work in five hours. Leaving now would mean some four hours of sleep…Putting down his glass and kissing the girl now hanging around his neck shortly, just a hint of tongue, he went outside, where it still was over 80 degrees. He looked up and down the strip. It was still crowded, but the majority of the people moving seemed to have lost their ability to walk in a straight line, or to not shout at each other and other people. Sex, drugs, rock&roll…and gambling. An adult’s playground….

A grunt coming from just around the corner got Tommy Joe to slow down. Looking around the corner, the sight he saw was unexpected. Adam had his twink backed up against the wall, one hand planted next to his left ear, the other down the grunting guy’s pants, moving up and down. Lost in lust, groaning, the twink fucked up into Adam’s hand, pleading for more. Adam’s eyes were focused on the boy’s mouth, as if he drank in the words coming from it.

‘Such a beautiful boy’. His hand came up from the pants and slid across his hips, over his stomach further up his body. Splaying his large hand, his thumb circled his left nipple, his pinky finger petted the right one. The pure bliss on the twink’s face and the sounds that came from his parted lips, made Tommy wonder what special powers those thumb and pinky had.

‘That’s it, sweetcakes. I’m gonna make you whine and beg, just using my hands. You’re so close to perfect, you know that? Slender, muscular, tiny ass…and those tats…yess…such a pretty boy. And just my type…’, he groaned while he moved even closer, pinning the ‘pretty boy’ between his body and the concrete wall. Rolling his hips he created the friction the boy seemed to be craving as if it was the first drop of water after three days wandering in the desert.

 Tommy Joe couldn’t help but turn his eyes from the twink to his own body. Slender…muscular…tats…and a near to non-existent ass. He thought back to that one time on stage while he was playing his bass where this big obviously gay guy had looked him over again and again, even adjusting his pants after a few minutes. Tommy Joe wondered if he should be worried. Sure he’s had more guys checking him out, but hearing Adam describe his physique with such lustful words and tone, it made him self-reflect on a whole new level. _God, he…was...a…twink! Now ponder that for a while…_

But he didn’t get time to ponder. High pitched noises and heavy panting made him look again at the two men devouring each other. He looked like he was gonna faint, that twink. A spurt of come stained Adam’s pants as the pretty boy came with force. ‘Aawww, look at that, silly. You spilled all over my new 400 dollar pants’, Adam’s voice was honey filled, but turned dark and threatening in a second, ‘Lick!’. ‘W..What?’ ‘Lick. Lick it up. Lap it up, clean my pants. Lick.’ The boy’s eyes widened. He obviously hadn’t had that request, or rather, that direct order, before.

He sunk to his knees, grabbed the inside of Adam’s legs, while extending his tongue. Adam’s eyes turned another shade darker as the tip of the boy’s tongue touched the fabric, bringing the first bit of come to his mouth and swallowed. ‘God, yeah. So hot…so beautiful’. Adam started to stroke his dick, his eyes glued to the mouth below cleaning every little bit. The boy obviously had taken to his task, watching Adam please himself right in front of his face. He now looked as if it was his sole purpose on earth to get Adam to find release.

‘Look up, pretty boy, I’m gonna come now…..’. And with a deep sigh and something that could be considered a giggle of delight, Adam came all over the boy’s cheek and mouth. 

Tommy Joe let go of a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and adjusted his jeans. A little flushed, he looked down at his own crotch… _What the fuck? Did he really get hard from looking at two guys getting it on in an alley?_ His hand cupped the front of his jeans, the pressure releasing the worst of the hardness inside.

Looking up again he saw the twink had gotten up, face close to Adam’s. The come had started to dribble from his cheeks and mouth to his chin. His tongue graced his own lips seductively. Adam brought his hand to the boy’s face, his palm cupped his right cheek, his thumb smeared the come further around the boy’s lips and somewhat into his mouth. ‘Gorgeous’, he whispered before he ducked his face down to kiss the come covered mouth.

Tommy Joe was more than confused when he walked away from the scene that had enfolded before his eyes. Ironically, considering his current job, he’d never been the voyeuristic type. And he sure as hell had never stuck around when two guys got to business. But something in the way this Adam guy had treated the twink had glued him to the ground. The way he had looked at him, the way he had touched him…the words he had spoken. Slender, muscular, tiny ass…those tats…

The words kept repeating themselves in his head. _Just his type…_

Increasing his pace, Tommy Joe shook his head, trying to get rid of the images and words that again started to cause arousal somewhere deep inside _. Fucked up…seriously…fucked up…_

 _  
_

After leaving the club Adam had pushed the boy, he learned was named Eric, to the first wall somewhat secluded from the outside world. He needed this...now! Eric had gotten to his knees instantly when he had told him to do so, so very eager to satisfy and be satisfied. The admiration was visible in his eyes and his every move, and even though it irritated Adam a bit he had used it to his advantage. The boy was ready to do anything and everything Adam wanted, and the pure bliss on his face when he made Adam come, and came even harder, certainly touched his ego. 

Adam startled at the sound of someone’s footsteps close by. His hand covered the twink’s mouth. His eyes searched the neon lit darkness and found a figure walking away from them. _Isn’t that that card-flicking guy? Did he…had he seen us?_ God, he hoped not. _How would he walk past that, actually very pretty, blond on the street tomorrow if he had seen him thumb the come of his hook-up from a seedy bar? That would be really embarrassing…_

‘This was so good, Eric. Thanks.’ They both smiled at the way Adam’s hand stuck to Eric’s face. Come truly was a great glue. ‘As I said inside, I don’t do relationships, okay? I just can’t seem to combine that with my work, someone always…always gets hurt. So I’m gonna kiss you one last time and then we’ll both go our own way, yeah?’. Eric nodded, disappointment visible in his eyes. ‘Yeah’. Adam turned around, adjusted his clothes, smiled at the still visible sticky spot on his pants. ‘And remember…you are gorgeous!’

Two blocks from his home he found himself thinking about that cute blonde…but not the one that had lapped up the come off his pants. Not the one that had willingly gone down on his knees… It was that creepy brat…the one that may or may not have seen him going at it in that alley…the one that walked away…


	4. Making plans

Tommy Joe pretended he was thinking about the chick that hung around his neck, when he had left dance club Pure two hours ago. Pretended he could feel her soft body against his, while pumping his hand up and down around his hard-on. But the image of blue eyes turning dark, of a broad shouldered body pinning a smaller frame against the wall…he just couldn’t get rid of it. And by the time he spilled everything he had over his own hand and stomach, there was nothing else to be seen behind his closed eyes but that exact image. _Okay, really…really not what he had expected to happen….was he losing it?_

 The next morning, the heat crept up his face the second he felt the left over stickiness on his skin. He sighed, swinging his legs to the side of his bed, and cupped his face with his hands. Looking at his iPhone, he cursed. How the hell would he get to his street corner in fifteen minutes? He wouldn’t! Fuck, this fucking sucked big balls of fire.

 Faking a mean laryngitis, he convinced Donny to let him take the day off, without pay of course, but he’d manage.

 At noon, more and more of the night-loving creatures started to stick their heads outside their hotels, looking for a place to lessen the hangover with some bacon and eggs. The tourists who were just visiting for the day were hurrying from hotel to hotel, taking pics at every highlight they could spot.

 Three girls were standing before the Golden Gate Bridge at Hotel New York, New York, posing as if they were professional models. The fourth girl, the one that was taking the pic, waved at Tommy Joe, motioning him to join in and pose with the three wannabe models. He got that from time to time. Especially the more conservative folks, who came to see ‘crazy’ Vegas, only to roll their eyes at it and feel better than anyone and everyone, were drawn by his attire. Even more so, when he was wearing his creepers, the charcoal eyeliner and grey eye shadow. Lots of them seemed to think he was the Vampire-style colleague of all of the Batmen, Elvises and Spongebob Squarepants roaming Las Vegas Boulevard.

  _Why not_ , he thought. _I've got time. And two of them are quite cute_. He let the girls put their arms around him, moving him in between. He didn’t like it when he was manhandled by women, and the two hands pinching his butt made him frown. Now, that’s gonna be one great pic….NOT.

 He smiled politely, claiming he really didn’t have time to show them the nitty gritty of Vegas. Walking away he wondered why for fuck’s sake he turned down four seemingly very willing girls. Because he had decided to go and see Guys and Dolls, that’s why. _Yes, next the north and south pole would be trading places…or he would turn out to be gay…hell would freeze over....or something else that was completely unthinkable._ His world was going crazy, that was all he was certain about.

 The signs above the ticket shop were so bright, it felt they were attacking him. 50% off, two for one, buy four pay three, free upgrades to front rows…. Suddenly he wondered if there would be tickets to Guys and Dolls for that night. The show had been sold out for weeks now, if he was to believe the entertainment magazines.

 ‘Hi honey, what’ll it be?’. Tommy Joe startled at the sweetness in the voice of the elderly woman. Someone treating him like an actual normal human being, didn’t happen every day. ‘Ehm…yes…do you…are there…I mean…is anything available for the musical Guys and Dolls tonight?’

‘Let me see, hon. O dear, it’s completely sold out. It has been all week, you know. It’s very popular, and it has such great actors, too. I saw it three weeks ago, made me laugh till my face hurt and cry like a baby. Excellent choice I have to say, but tonight….I’m sorry…’

 Tommy Joe fidgeted with his phone, not knowing what to do. This would probably be the last free night in three months. And the matinee on Sunday was out too, since he had to start at noon on Saturdays and Sundays. More tourists visited during weekends, more people to lure into the net of sexual adventures.

 ‘O wait! I do have a ticket for you. But it’s front row, quite expensive and you might have a stiff neck at the end. What do you think?’ She smiled a heartwarming smile. Her finger was on a seating map of the theatre. The first row seat was a bit to the left of the stage, and it cost 130 dollars. His eyes widened at the realization that buying that ticket would have him eat canned beans for three weeks.

 The woman looked at his face and obviously took pity on seeing his face going from excitedly happy to disappointed and depressed in under a second.

‘You know what? It’s plain to see it’s important for you to go and see that show tonight. Don’t know why and you don’t have to tell me. Here’s what I’ll do. One of the privileges of this otherwise not so riveting job is, we get to choose ourselves four tickets a year, to whatever show we choose, whatever row we want. No dental insurance, no paid leaves, no childcare, but we do get four tickets. How ‘bout that, huh?’

 Tommy Joe huffed at the ridicule of that arrangement, knowing every single one of the employees would take health insurance over a gazillion tickets every day of the week.

 ‘I know. It’s sad but true. Welcome to Vegas, right? But I AM gonna get this ticket in front row to Guys and Dolls and I’m gonna give it to you. And you are gonna enjoy it so very much. Just make sure you let me know how much, ‘kay?’

 Tommy Joe raised a hand and tried to find his voice to tell her she really didn’t need to do that for him. No one is ever that nice to him. Let alone a stranger at a ticket center. But before he could say anything, a piece of paper was pushed into his raised hand. ‘Go, beautiful, go and do whatever you need to do’.

  _Who was that woman, and more important_ _what_ _was that woman, Tommy Joe wondered, while he walked away. Was she a psychic? Or was he just that easy to read?_

Snapping out of his train of thoughts, he turned around and shouted: ‘Thank you so much! You rock!’ and began to run.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam rubbed at the eyeliner he hadn’t removed the night before with his middle finger, while gazing into his own eyes in the mirror. He felt weird…nervous almost. _What the hell?_ It couldn’t be because of his performance that night. He was never nervous, not since he had blown everyone away with his performance as Joseph in ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat’ in seventh grade. Being the awkward fat kid hadn’t mattered anymore, no one got to him after that. The way people had been in awe had empowered him profoundly, his talent had given him the gateway to happiness. And he had used it ever since.

 Sure, life had been difficult quite some times in the years after that. Lots of idiots condemning him, bullying him, trying to get him down, but through it all he had had his talent, his voice to hold on to. And it had brought him here, playing one of the lead roles in one of the best-selling musicals in Vegas in decades. And now… he felt nervous. A knot in his stomach, his mouth dry, not knowing what to do with himself.

 That night would be his last performance before he had two weeks off. He’d been looking forward to that for two years now. Two weeks of doing absolutely nothing. Sleeping in, procrastinating on his couch watching True Blood, diving into one of seven flavors of ice-cream. One for every day of the week. And just relax, relax till his limbs wouldn’t even know how to move anymore.

 So, this morning would also be the last morning for the two weeks to come that he would go out running. But right now, he needed to. Needed to run a long distance to get rid of that knot and the thoughts tumbling around in his head.

 His running gear contained of a black short and a tank top. Even at seven in the morning Vegas was too hot for any more fabric on his body. He had bought new running shoes a week ago and the day before he had noticed, they had finally adjusted to his feet. No more muscle aches in his calves, no more blisters on his heels. Finally.

 Putting on his headphones, black with blue glittery earplugs, he decided on Gaga for this particular run. He needed up tempo and crazy. Walking down the stairs, he felt the first drop of sweat run down his neck. Every morning run meant a loss of loads of fluids and turning into a tomato head. But running not only kept him fit and toned, it also made it possible to let all the shit in life go.

 Running towards Las Vegas Boulevard Adam felt his muscles adjust, his body getting in the flow. Sweat had started to run down his broad chest and strong back in little streams, connecting all the freckles they found on their way. His hair danced on his head. A strand of it sticking to his cheek.

 He noticed women, and men, turning their heads, taking in the eye candy passing them by. The lack of clothes, the panting chest and the large sweaty body made them think of a much more entertaining form of exercise. Adam knew, he saw it too in every cute guy running towards and past him on the boulevard.

 But somehow, despite the scarcely clothed, heavily sweating cute twinks that had met his eyes, the only one showing up on the inside of his eyelids in the shower after his run, while his hand pumped his cock slowly and deliberately, was the card flicking asshole. More specifically, that asshole getting himself off while watching Adam going at it with that twink from the club. And imagining aforementioned asshole mixing his own jizz with the twink’s while getting on his knees to lap at Adam’s cock, brought him over the edge in under three minutes. _God, this guy was going to be the death of him._

 Adam decided to go cold turkey. The two weeks off would also free him from his twice-a-day encounter with gorgeous brown eyes. Maybe that would take the edge off….


	5. Take it from the fangirls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my reader who haven't seen Guys and Dolls a great impression can be found here: http://youtu.be/5OIeUw_wUhU  
> I've actually seen it myself in London because I'm a big fan of Ewan McGregor, who played Sky Masterson at that time.   
> But Adam playing Sky made a lot of sense too :-)

Sitting down in the red plush seat, Tommy Joe looked at his hands. His left hand held his own thigh a tad too tightly, his right crumpled the ticket. _Get a grip, you idiot. It’s like you’ve never been to a fucking show before. Fucking show…_ Tommy Joe snickered at his gutter brain. _Maybe he would do that after… go to Boobs ’n Asses at the Moon and see a true fucking show. _

 He looked at the program he got, when he entered the theatre. The synopsis of the musical, on the left, made him smile: Nathan Detroit, the organiser of the oldest permanent floating crap game, bets Sky Masterson that he can't make the next girl he sees, fall in love with him: Miss Sarah Brown of the Save-a-Soul Mission. Meanwhile, Nathan's wife who suffers from a permanent cold, and the main attraction at the Hot Box nightclub - Miss Adelaide, only wants to get married. In the end the gamblers and "spunky do-gooders" are thrown together.

 On the right there were pics of the two leads playing Miss Adelaide and Nathan Detroit. Turning the page Tommy Joe saw Adam as Sky Masterson dancing with a long legged beauty, as Miss Sarah Brown watched them from her seat at a bar. All-in-all, it looked like something Tommy Joe would enjoy.

 Everyone shifted in their seats at the voice introducing the conductor of the orchestra. _Let’s get this fucking show started…_

 At the end of the show, Tommy Joe had to admit he had liked the show. And as much as he wanted to find flaw in Adam’s performance, he couldn’t find any. The guy was really, really good. The flailing of nearly all women, and some men too, during the break and afterwards he could have done without though, thank you very much.

Clearly the crazy lady at the club wasn’t the only one not able to keep from producing orgasmic sounds upon seeing that man.

 Leaving the theatre, Tommy Joe turned left and found quite a crowd near the back door. Dozens of women, and a few men, were waiting excitedly with a cd, poster or the program of the musical in their hands.

 ‘God, he was, like, fucking amazing again tonight. Last week he had, you know, a cold. But you couldn’t hear it now’, a girl in her late teens exclaimed. After that, she and her friends continued with an abundance of praise on how well he sang, danced, acted, connected with the audience, wore his suit, wiped away the sweat off his face, and so on and so on.

 But two young women near the back of the line talking about their idol in a completely different way than the others, intrigued Tommy Joe more. He moved closer to eavesdrop more effectively.

 ‘It was so worth the travelling overseas for, right?’, the black haired taller girl said. ‘It was even better than I expected it to be’. The shorter girl hummed in appreciation. ‘You know what? This guy could do a lot for this fucked, uptight, hypocritical society. Being this good, but still humble and reflective, ánd openly gay, he could be a great role model for lots of kids struggling in life’.

 ‘And gay he is... hot and gay’, the older and taller one replied, starting a giggle fit between the two of them. ‘Our Gay Lord’, one snorted, ‘Lord of the gays’, the other snickered, ‘Leader of gayopolis’, 'Big Gay AL', ‘His adorkable Gayness’, ‘Homo Erotic Sapiens’. They hugged and laughed uncontrollably.

 Tommy Joe listened to the women coming up with about thirty nicknames, most of them not really complimentary. If he hadn’t heard the first part of the conversation he might have wondered why they were in line, or if they even liked the guy.

 The loving mockery made him grin. Now, that’s what he would want from his own fans if the day ever would come they would be standing in line to meet him. That, and lots of hugs and kisses. It would make for a fantastic after party after every performance. Him and lots of great and funny lady fans.

 The screaming interrupted his daydreaming. And the realisation of where he was (in line with crazy fans) and what it made him look like (can you spell LOSER?), made him turn on his heels and start to run.

 To his own surprise he ended up at the same club as the day before. His inner testosterone-driven-TJ drove him to the first girl he dug, after two JD’s. With his tongue in her mouth and hands firmly on her butt, he was grinding her into the wall. Her boobs were soft, warm and perky. And he relished the feel of her nipples getting hard. She gave a good match in the tongue-fight they found their way into.

 Tommy Joe knew they were being watched. The sloppiness and dirtiness of their interaction was on the edge of truly indecent behaviour. To go a step further would lead them to getting thrown out. But he just couldn’t stop. She felt too fucking good, and her want set fire to his loins.

 Suddenly, she pulled back. ‘Another JD, then, gorgeous?’. Without waiting for an answer she led him back to the bar, and ordered for the both of them. _Bossy_ _,_ he thought, _but she'll cave. Fifteen minutes alone and she'll be begging..._

 A mouth against his ear made him jump. ‘I saw you tonight’, a male voice slurred, ‘I saw you in the front row and I saw you afterwards… with all the other fans’. Tommy Joe felt his gut clench, but refrained from turning around. _Ignore him. Just fucking ignore him. He is not, and I repeat NOT gonna ruin this potentially fucktastic night’._

 ‘I have my own dressing room, you know. Cosy...mirrors everywhere. We could have had a great time’.

 Pinning his nails into the palms of his hands, Tommy Joe turned around. His nose touched a silver skull on a chain hanging against a tight black shirt, his hair brushed against a strong chin. Pulling his bangs behind his ear he looked up, making sure his whole demeanour conveyed utter coolness.

 The drowsy blue eyes of a completely and utterly wasted Adam made it difficult to say what he intended to. There was sadness, and a bit of what looked like hope, gleaming behind the “I’m a brilliant and popular actor”-facade. A sadness and hope something within Tommy Joe bore recognition.

 But Tommy Joe managed to answer impressively indifferent: ‘Look, Adam. It’s Adam, right? I’m here with this gorgeous chick, and she and I are gonna have this fuckfest tonight. So, fuck off, okay? Go find yourself some twink that is actually gay and go pant in his ear’.

 Swaying majestically with her hips, his fuckfest-a-gogo returned and offered him his JD. ‘Who’s your friend?’. She looked at Adam and back at Tommy Joe and back at Adam again. She seemed to be giving the possibility of a threesome serious consideration. ‘No one’, Tommy Joe answered, ‘Come on, let’s get the hell out of here’.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam left the theatre, tired and confused. He had spotted the card flicking guy during the second scene on stage. And it had done more to him than he could understand. _Why was he here? Did he come to see him? Was he here with someone?_

 And during the show more questions rose: _What did he think of the show? Did he go and see musicals more often? What did he think of my singing and acting? He did seem to enjoy himself._

 Adam gave it his all. It might just have been his best performance in months. He fucking WAS Sky Masterson that night.

 His confusion grew when he saw the blond standing outside in line with the fans coming to get his autograph and get their pic taken with him. The blond stood out. A beautiful petit, between all those eager women and dragged-along-men.

 Adam had watched him shortly before getting out in the open for the fans to notice him. Two young women at the back of the line appeared to be having a blast, the blond standing close to them smiling along. _Did he come with them then? It was a possibility… somehow they… matched._

 Adam saw the man turn around and run at the first screams of the fans, when he waved at the ones in the front of the line. Nothing he could do. _Damn you, gorgeous, damn you!_

 A lot of smiling, waving, ‘hey, guys’ and ‘aww, thank you’s later, he saw the black haired beauty and cute redhead approaching him. ‘Hey lovelies. Did you enjoy the show?’ Two pair of starstruck eyes and bright smiles provided his answer. ‘You know’, the smaller one said, ‘Marlon Brando doesn’t stand a chance against you… we think’. ‘Aww, thanks sweetie. You saw the original movie then. Don’t know about that. Wouldn’t even be comfortable standing in his shadow. The man is so great. But the two of you are very kind, thanks!’

 After they both had their picture taken with him, he hesitated before opening his mouth to stop them from leaving.

 ‘Did… ehm… did that blond guy who was standing in line with you, bring you here? Did he come with you to the show?’

 Flabbergasted, the young women turned towards him, big eyes, mouth open. But they recovered quickly, sharing an all-knowing look like only women, who’d known each other forever, could do.

 ‘You mean that cute blond?’, the redhead asked, one eyebrow raised, ‘The gorgeous brown eyed twink?’, the black haired added with a smirk. They giggled. ‘We were actually just discussing how much he must have been your type, after he left’.

 Adam felt a blush creep up his neck, to his cheeks. And he saw a blue and brown pair of eyes following the trail of that blush. They were both thoroughly enjoying themselves with this.

 ‘Ehm… well, he was in the theatre, and I’ve seen him before on the street. I mean on my way to the theatre. I mean…Yes, he’s cute, but that’s not why I asked… I…’, Adam kicked himself mentally for babbling like an idiot. Regrouping inside he stated, ‘You don’t know him’.

 ‘Nope’, they answered simultaneously. ‘Sure wish we did, though’, the blue eyed woman added, accompanied by a nod and grin from the other. ‘Never mind. Forget I asked, okay? Thanks for coming. I’m glad you enjoyed the show’. ‘Thank you, Adam. And thank you for being you. Hope you catch the guy. Bye!’

 He smiled as they turned around and walked away arm in arm, the connection and love between them obvious in their stride.

 Back in his dressing room, Adam decided to change and do his make-up clubbing-style, downing three tequila while doing so.

 The moment he walked into the club and he saw a tiny ass in tight black jeans grind… a girl… into the wall, he looked up to the imaginary sky. _God must truly be twittering “LMFAO” right now, posting GIFs of my face. My life sucks, fucking….sucks. Glad you’re having a field day with this, GOD, but…..FML!!!_

 Another two tequila, and another fifteen minutes of watching ‘tongue-wrestling for the advanced’, Adam had enough. And, even though the more rational part of his brain screamed not to, Adam as usual followed the emotional part and walked to the bar to come to a stop right behind the blond. Before he realised what he was doing, he had whispered all the wrong words into the cutest ears he had ever seen.

 And it truly hit him what he was doing when the small man turned around eventually, his face nearly touching his chest. Adam used all his willpower to refrain from putting his arms around the smaller frame and apologise, Instead he slouched his shoulders and waited. _This was going to be bad. Ugly. Painful. Take your pick. Choose ‘d’,  all of the above. That sounds about right._

 The guy’s answer had been more of a slap in the face than he’d ever had. And being one of two sons in a household, he had had his share of proper brotherly beatings, But he would have taken many, many more of those, if it had spared him this one. _‘No one’, he had said, ‘he’s no one..’_

 Wow, that hurt. Even though the guy knew nothing about him and his opinion shouldn’t matter in the least, it did. It hurt.

 And if the earth had opened up right then and there, while he watched the girl lead the blond out of the club, he would have gladly jumped in to be swallowed and vanish. 


	6. When the shit hits the fan

Something had gone wrong. Somewhere, somehow, within five minutes, the chance at a fantastic lay had slipped through his fingers. In that same moment, his life had fallen apart.  
And it had happened so fast, he was still puzzled and dazed twenty minutes later.

Exiting the club Tommy Joe had bumped into Jay, who had started shouting at him right away. He had spat out that Tommy Joe was a stupid fucking idiot who didn’t look sick at all, and that if he was fucking well enough to fucking bang a fucking whore, he sure as hell was well enough to offer whores on the fucking streets, to do his fucking job. And Tommy Joe had just stood there, recuperating from the shock and translating the fowl sentences in actual English.

The girl had taken one more look at him, had raised her nose high into the air and had dismissed him by giving him the finger. ‘Creep’, she had added, ‘fucking sick creep’.

What’s with all the fucking?, Tommy Joe thought. Really, really don’t mind the act, but the overuse of that word is so distracting. What happened? Just… what?

And that, as they say, was that. No fuck, no girl, no job, no money, no nothing. In the blink of an eye, Tommy Joe had gone from ‘having a pretty good time’ to ‘please, kill me now’.

And somehow, the universe hadn’t had enough yet of cashing in on bad karma of what must be the last 23 lives he has lived, because there he was again when he turned around: Adam. Sitting on the floor, back against the outside wall of the front of the club. His knees were up, his arms rested on his knees, his forehead leaning on his arms.

The puddle of disgusting goo in front of the black haired man suggested he had had more to drink than to eat that night.

Tommy Joe considered sitting down beside him and producing another puddle of the same kind of goo, since he really wasn’t feeling well either. He felt like someone had kneed him in the gut. He wanted to take the same position, convinced they were feeling quite the same way about life right now. It should be thoroughly fucked... life that is… not… you know…

Seeing two men approaching Adam, Tommy Joe took a few steps forward. ‘Hey fag, get up! Get up, so we can kick your fairy ass to the ground again and smear your face in your own shit.’ One of them kicked Adam’s boot, the other grabbed his hair to make him look up.

Okay, so maybe that guy’s life sucks a little bit more, Tommy Joe thought. And he started to shout. ‘Hey, tough guys! You think you’re all that, huh, couple of ignorant weeners? Kicking the sorry-ass homo? That’s your way of expressing your masculinity? Sexually frustrated much, hmm? FUCK OFF!’

The men stared at him, looked at each other, clearly silently deliberating whether to kick his little ass too. But Tommy Joe stood his ground. He’d had bigger and scarier opponents, he wasn’t afraid. He actually never was in these kind of situations. Adam’s head was still pulled back, his face stricken with sadness and gratefulness combined.

Pushing his head down again, one of the bullies started cursing just about every nasty word to be found in the ‘uneducated anti-social lowlife dictionary’. But they walked off, just as he had expected. They’re all cowards, the bigger their mouths, the smaller their dicks…

With the two men gone, Tommy Joe saw Adam dropping his head down again, his arms around his knees, tucked even further to his chest. He stood there, not knowing what to do next.

As he turned around, he heard a sob come from the manmade puddle of misery. Oh, fuck it. Why aren’t I just a heartless piece of shit?, Tommy Joe thought as he walked towards Adam.

‘Hey, dude, you okay?’, he watched the black hair move right, left and right again. Okay… so that’s a no, I guess. Big surprise there. Superb question, Ratliff. It’s so uncanny that they haven’t asked you to be a profiler with the FBI, since you’re able to get every piece of deeply hidden information out of anyone.

‘Not fine. Yeah, could kinda tell from you sitting there like you lost everything in life. Which is kind of ironic, considering I’m actually the one who lost all he had in the last half an hour’. Whoa!... where did that sharing-mode come from?   
‘Anyway… back to you. Need a ride home?’

The confusion and surprise in Adam’s eyes made Tommy Joe want to elaborate on that unexpected offer. ‘You’re obviously wasted. And if the drugs or alcohol wouldn’t prohibit you from driving, the fog in your eyes from crying this much would make it quite dangerous, you know?’

The frown that appeared between Adam’s eyes had Tommy Joe consider if he suddenly started speaking Chinese, making it impossible to be understood.

‘Or are you by foot?’

Still no answer. Tommy Joe knuckled his own head and tapped his mouth twice. ‘Hello? Is this thing on? Can anyone hear me?’

That got him a giggle. It’s not much, but at least there was some response now. He watched as Adam tried to get up and failed epically in doing so, tumbling forward only to be saved from falling flat on his face by a motorcycle sidecar.

Tommy Joe managed not to step in and let Adam save himself. The weight of a guy nearly twice his size would have had them both suffer from bruises and scratches.

Hearing Adam starting to speak made him look up in wonder, he almost hadn’t expected it to happen anymore. ‘By foot, I live nearby’, a hoarse Adam stated.

‘Ah, okay’, Tommy Joe stepped back. ‘You’ll be fine then. Be safe. Bye!’.

‘No… please... don’t go’, the pleading voice stirs something in Tommy Joe’s chest. ‘Don’t go. Stay. Please?’

 

Adam POV

‘How far?’ Adam blinked owlishly at that question. What does he mean? Nothing came out when he opened his mouth. This fucking fog in his head. I look like a moron, not able to answer any question. Fuck it.

‘How far from here do you live?’ The words said slowly and clearly articulated, as if spoken to a four-year-old.

‘O… ehm… thirty somewhat minute walk… south’. Adam pointed his finger in what he thought, hoped is the right direction.

‘You can’t walk for thirty minutes in this condition. You couldn’t even crawl for five. Follow!’  
The small man started to walk away, and even though Adam’s not completely convinced he understood correctly, he decided to move along.

After tripping six times in one block, Adam felt an arm around his waist, another one pulled his own arm over small shoulders. It steadied him, making it possible to do something that actually is similar to walking.

‘I’m Tommy Joe’. Adam opened his eyes and tried to find the face the voice was coming from. ‘Since I’m carrying right now, and am about to drive you home in my car, I consider it great timing to get introduced, right? Wouldn’t want to sit in a complete stranger’s car, do you? Your mom wouldn’t approve, now would she?’

They kept walking, as the cute and as it now seemed, sweet (and strong!) guy kept talking. Tommy Joe, Adam thought, that’s… nice.

‘Though, I’m not a complete stranger, am I? You’ve yelled at me already, offered something that was supposed to be an apology. Which it wasn’t by the way, thank you very much! And you’ve panted in my ear like a cat in heat, this evening. Hell, come to think of it, we’re closer than most people I talk to everyday’.

Adam almost melted at the giggle Tommy Joe produced after that speech. Is this guy for real? How does one get to be this gorgeous, sweet ánd funny? Then he hung his head in defeat. And straight… just my luck’.

Most of the sentences that came from his current support system got lost on the way to Adam’s ears. Something about standing still, stay on your feet, address, no puking in the car and get in. The essentials were clear, but Adam regretted so much that he couldn’t just record all the amazing and innovative combinations of words this man could come up with.

I like him, Adam thought. At least, he thinks he thought it. Tommy Joe’s response told him he said it aloud.

‘Okay. Listen. I know you like me. Your proposition of being bent over in your dressing room got me that earlier this evening, as did the eight versions of how you dig me in the last five minutes did. Thank you, good for my ego, it’s me, not you, blah blah blah. Now can you please… give… me… your… address? Please?’


	7. Getting too close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in a car together isn't as easy as it seems...

Driving over Las Vegas Boulevard, southbound, Tommy Joe looked to his right. Adam’s a big guy and he looked crammed in the passenger seat. His head is leaning back, his eyes closed. His long limbs relaxed, his neck stretched. A few chest hairs stood up from under the grey tight shirt. Tommy Joe watched one side of his upper lip curl up in a smirk. ‘Whatya lookin’ at?’

 What the?? How the hell did he know he was looking at him? ‘Nothing special, really. Just making sure you weren’t about to throw up in my car.’

‘Sure. Whatever you say, dude.’

Screeching of the tires sliding over the tarmac and the bright lights flashing in his eyes made his heart skip two beats. He yanked the steering wheel to the left while hitting the breaks with full force, making Adam’s body slam forward and to the left against his shoulder.

 Yanking the wheel left again, he managed to keep the car on the road missing the motorcyclist by mere inches.

 “Holy fucking shit!!!’, Tommy Joe kept a slow pace trying to catch his breath and reinforce his heart at a non-life-threatening pace.

‘What? WHOA!!!... you… what the hell?’. Not much sense coming from the passenger seat, but hey, why would the idiot start now, right? ‘You almost hit that guy, man!?! God, he could have been dead. What did you do? Fuck!’

‘Oh. Shut up! Go back to sleep, will ya? Everything’s fine’, the shakiness in his voice made clear everything was all BUT fine, but he wasn’t going to explain to Adam that staring at him made Tommy Joe lose focus on the road. No need to tell the self absorbed man that.

They sat in silence for the next ten minutes, up till Tommy Joe parked his car in front of Adam’s apartment. It looked simple from the outside, shabby even. Guess being a popular actor doesn’t pay big bucks either, Tommy Joe thought.

‘Okay. Here you are, dude, Now get out, get in and be prepared for a hell of a hangover tomorrow.’

 Adam turned his head to face Tommy Joe. ‘Yeah, well, thanks, I guess.’ Unbuckling himself Adam grabbed the door handle and opened the door, then turned back again. ‘I’m sorry. For what I did in the club. And I’m truly grateful for you intervening with those bastards outside. You’re… sweet.’

 Tommy Joe gave him a little smile at that, which faltered quickly when he saw Adam’s face getting closer to his. He nearly jumped out of his seat when he felt soft lips touch his cheek in a soft kiss. Did the guy actually KISS him? What… just? what?

 ‘Yeah. Right. Ok. You’re eh… welcome. Come on. Out you go. Go get some sleep and sober up.’

 He tried to ignore the lingering smell of manly musk and cologne, the burn on his cheek. And the fact that he had to fight not to lean in the lips touching his face.

 Adam nodded and moved his right leg out of the car, only to fall flat on his face on the sidewalk, producing a heartfelt ‘Ouch’.

 Tommy Joe watched him go down like a sack of potatoes and started to laugh uncontrollably. He always had had a weak spot for falling people in ‘America’s funniest home videos’ and this just might have been a 100-dollar winner, had he been able to grab his phone in time. He grabbed his belly, roaring with laughter, shaking his head. ‘Bwahaha, oh man, that was priceless!!’

 And just when he finally caught his breath, the sight of two hands gripping the door and Adam’s wide-eyed face emerging from behind it like a character in a cartoon, made him lose it completely. Between hiccups he managed to ask Adam if he was alright.

 Adam looked blankly at Tommy Joe, his neck and face had turned tomato-red, the embarrassment clear in his eyes. ‘I think I have sprung my ankle’.

 ‘O god! No. Whahahahaha. Fuck, man! I shouldn’t laugh at that. I really shouldn’t. But it’s just…hahaha. This whole situation is really… mmmgghhmmm… bwaaaahahaaa…’

 ‘Yes. Well. Glad I am entertaining you with my misfortune. But... ehm... could you… would you… Is it too much to ask if you can help me get inside? There’s two flights of stairs and I’m well… in pain. A lot.’

 That had Tommy Joe shut up. Go inside? With the guy that had panted in his ear? That had kissed him, only minutes ago?

‘Man, you’re a real pain in the ass, you know that? Fine! I’ll help you. But no kissing, no groping, no bending me over, got that?’

 

Tommy Joe chose to ignore the darkening in Adam’s eyes at his last remark, chose to ignore the knowledge of Adam having all kinds of mental pictures at that.

 In the same position as they were walking from the club to the car, Tommy Joe now steadied Adam to get up to his apartment. ‘Ok, there you go. Easy now. Lean some more of you need to. I’m a tough little man, stronger than you probably think. That’s it. Almost there.’

 His encouragements were his way of dealing with the awkward situation, but seeing Adam smile, while the pain was clearly visible underneath, made him smile too.

 'What a night. From all odds on a great lay, to carrying a gay. Wow, I really SHOULD be a poet, don’t you think?’

 Adam fumbled with his key, his eyes questioningly on Tommy Joe. Tommy Joe sighed. ‘Yes, I’ll help you inside, dork. Just open up.’

 Tommy Joe really hadn’t been prepared to walking into Adam’s condo. It was small, but spaciously decorated. Lots of black, with blue, purple and green accessories. The big piece of art on the wall in the living room, a drawing of a very naked man in a very seductive position, was an ‘in your face’- kind of centre piece. He found himself staring at it while getting Adam to the couch.

 The awkwardness of the following moments filled the air. For once, Tommy Joe didn’t know what to say or do, standing in this stranger’s living room, his blue eyes looking up, waiting.

 ‘So….’

 Adam moved his feet up on the couch. ‘So….’

 ‘No kiss goodbye?’, the man’s voice was challenging as well as seductive. And Tommy Joe couldn’t for the sake of god understand why that made his body react like it did. ‘What was it with this guy that made him so jumpy and uncertain?’

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Being able to doze off in the car was so pleasant. In a car, with a cute guy named Tommy Joe, Adam allowed himself to drift off in a fantasy in which he and this cutie would be doing all kinds of… interesting… things.

In the silence, he felt Tommy Joe’s eye gaze, literally felt it, without seeing. And he let himself think it might mean something, incorporated it in his fantasy.

But then reality grabbed him by the throat. The near-accident had caused him a near-heart attack. The haze in his head making it very hard to grasp what was happening. Being thrown against Tommy Joe’s shoulder like that, his body slung into the buckle hurting his shoulder and chest, certainly didn’t fit into the fantasy that had warmed up more than one part of his body.

During the silenced drive that followed, Adam thought about the silliness of the situation. How they’d met, what they’d said to each other, the way Tommy Joe had helped him. Pretty awesome actually.

And so he just couldn’t help himself when he was about to get out of the car. He HAD to kiss him. Show him how much he appreciated all this. He just needed to… touch him.’

Tommy Joe’s skin had been soft, despite the five o’clock shadow. So masculine, with a feminine feel to it.

How he wished he didn’t have to stop. That he could lift his hand and turn that gorgeous face to touch his lips on those pink pouty mouth. And grace his tongue against them, pleading entrance. Then tangle his hand in that great hair, tilt the petite’s head to get him to open up even more. Kiss him, till he was out of breath. They would both be panting, foreheads touching, anticipating what was still to come…

 ‘Yeah. Right. OK. You’re welcome. Come on. Out you go. Go get some sleep and sober up.’

 Adam’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of Tommy Joe’s voice. Idiot! Fucking sad idiot! What am I doing? He must really think I’m a weird creep. Trying to get out of the car as fast as possible turned out to be an epic fail. He hit the pavement hard, the whole left of his body bruised instantly. His ankle hurt bad.

 He considered just staying there. Curled up on the street, next to the car, pretending this wasn’t happening. But the sounds coming from the car made him look up. Laughing? Really? Somebody getting hurt like that made him crack up? Fucking bastard!

 But Tommy Joe had helped him inside.

 Adam had smirked seeing Tommy Joe’s pre-occupation with the drawing in the living room. This guy might be more bendy than he’s aware of.

 The reaction to his seductively raised question convinced him even more of that possibility. Adam got to him, that much was clear. But why, and to what extent, was to be determined.

 Adam watched Tommy Joe turn around slowly and open his mouth. ‘Goodbye kiss? Didn’t you just do that in the car? Figured it was enough smooching with a man for a straight guy for one night, don’t ya think?’

 ‘Honey…You can’t even _drive_ straight.’

 Adam bit his bottom lip to refrain from grinning at his own bratty remark. ‘I can… what? Wait. That’s not fair, fucker. I didn’t see the guy. And that has nothing to do with whom I choose to fuck!’ Tommy Joe stumbled over his own words, only to come to a stop with a firm: ‘You bitch!’

 ‘Bitch? Really, Tommy Joe? Of all the terms of abuse you could use, you chose that one? Doesn’t that make you wonder?’ He raised one eyebrow, amused to bits.

 ‘You know what, dude? I don’t need this. You don’t get to talk to me like this. Ungrateful bastard!’

 While Tommy Joe continued to lecture him on what he could and could not do after having his ass carried home like this, Adam got up and limped towards the blond, who now backed away with every step he took, till his back was against the wall.

 Adam towered over him, piercing blue eyes staring into wide brown ones. He put a finger under the blond’s chin and tilted his head and muffled the ‘what the hell are you doing?’ with a short kiss on the lips.

 He took another step closer, leaning his other hand against the wall next to the shorter man’s ear, leaning a bit to the side to balance on his good ankle. He noticed Tommy Joe holding his breath and decided to go for it. What have I got to lose?

 He licked at the soft lips, which parted slightly. Licked at the full upper lip, treasuring the shiver it caused in the other man’s body. He deepened the kiss, demanding entrance, entangling his tongue with the one tentatively peeking outside.

 God, this guy’s a natural. This is gonna be the end of me, Adam thought.

 The whispered moan he received upon biting the lower lip made him smile in satisfaction. Adam moved his hand from the blond’s chin to grab the back of his head, getting them even closer together. He could feel the heat radiate from Tommy Joe’s body. Kissing more forcefully, he felt the smaller man go pliant, touching against his own. A small hip slowly pushing into his hardening dick.

 At that touch the man trapped between him and the wall stiffened, breaking the kiss abruptly. Two hands pushed against his chest with force, making him step backwards. Adam cringed at the pain in his ankle, but even more so at the loss of touch.

 He watched Tommy Joe look up, bewildered and flushed. He could read the realisation and  confusion, and what he only could label as dark hunger, clear in his face. And he didn’t do or say anything when Tommy Joe turned around without a word and left, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

 


	8. Friends are everything

Getting into his car, Tommy Joe swore he would never, ever, let Adam get near him again. The guy has absolutely no respect for personal boundaries whatsoever.

 Sure, the kiss on the cheek, thát he could understand. A wasted gay guy, thanking a stranger, just a bit too enthusiastically. Not cool, but… acceptable. But forcing yourself upon a straight guy, kissing him like that. So NOT cool. _A real kiss, tongue wrestling freestyle, all up in my personal space. A hot kiss, making me pant… Wait? what? No, no, no. Not hot. Far from that! Right? Right??_

 Tommy Joe’s brain worked overtime during the drive home, desperately trying to make sense of what just happened.  _Driving absolutely straight, thank you fucking very much_ , he thought while gripping his steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white.

 At home, he dumped his jacket on a chair and grabbed a bottle of Jack in the same movement. _So done thinking about this_. He took a big gulp from the bottle, as he lay down on his bed. Time to drown these fucked up thoughts. 

*

In the weeks that followed finding a job proved to be a search for a needle in a haystack. Nine out of ten times he would get no response to an application, the lines at the employment agency went around the block. And in the rare occasion he actually was invited for an interview, it became painfully clear there was always something wrong with him.

He was either too young (manager of a music store) or too old (telemarketeer). He was too weird (reception desk at the Bellagio’s), or not weird enough (bartender at the LAVO).

Upon speaking about his working experience, they found him either too much connected to the sex industry (sales person at the M&M store) or not dedicated enough to it (manager of the back room at Olympic Garden Strip club).

 All-in all, it took the landlord less than three weeks to throw him out on the streets, after Tommy Joe hadn’t been able to pay his rent for two.

 Of course, Mike had offered to come and stay with him and his wife. But he really couldn’t crowd that one-bedroom apartment any more than it already was, or share the little food they had. She was pregnant, for god’s sake. Not gonna do that to them.

 And so, Tommy Joe ended up sleeping on the streets. He carried a small backpack and his guitar, the only thing that made it possible for him to pull a few bucks out of people’s pants, just enough for a meal a day.

 People seemed to recognise and appreciate his talent even if he was just a homeless loser they passed on the streets. On the good nights tourists would stop to listen and he would manage to get a bit of a crowd around him. On those nights he would make good money. It seemed giving an alms was contagious; once a few people started the others would follow their lead.

 Being on the streets, living from one meal to the other, really provided too much time on his hands. Too much time to think, to reflect, to remember… to feel.

 Several times each day Tommy Joe thought he saw a dark haired, tall man with blue eyes. Maybe it was because he dreaded seeing him. Or maybe, he really wanted to. To tell him again what he thought of him.

 One day, when he had woken after dreaming about being in a car with that black haired man, he had even gone to his former working spot. Since he knew Adam would pass by there twice a day, he was certain to spot him there. He would let his frustration run free, like he deserved.

But his former colleagues had chased him away, like a stray dog, claiming he was bad for business.

 He considered moving back home, but he remembered the loneliness. And he was still convinced he would find a job, being a decent enough guy, willing to work hard and at all hours.

 If only someone would give him a chance….

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning after his cocky-guy-routine-gone-bad-incident Adam woke up in a lot of pain. His ankle had swollen tremendously and showed all colours of the rainbow. Getting out of bed suddenly was a task that took him thirty minutes and a lot of distress.

 But underneath his tears, falling down his pain stricken face, he had smiled; remembering parts of the night before. In particular, the last part.

 It had been a long time since a kiss had created so much inner turmoil. Tommy Joe had been a great kisser, and the way he went pliant for just a few seconds had made Adam want to grab him by his hair, throw him on the bed and have his way with him. He normally didn’t go for the straight guys, but this was different. There was so much hidden want within that beautiful man.

 He grinned at the thought of Tommy Joe backing off scared and confused at the touch of Adam’s cock. It had been too much for him. _Such a stereotypical closet case, if I ever saw one._ Adam sat down, biting his lip to stop himself from crying out in pain _. Just a couple of more nights like these and I’ll get him out. Please, universe, just give me a chance._

 Even though he had two weeks off, he would just walk his normal route again and see how that gorgeous blond would react to him. Then he would make his next move.  _As soon as I can walk, that is. Feels like I’ll never be able to use that ankle ever._

 Adam grabbed his phone and used speed dial 2. ‘Adaaaaaamm. My boy! Howreyadoin’?’ 

‘Hi, babe. Not so good, I’m afraid. Sprained my ankle yesterday and I think I need to have it checked out.’ 

‘Awwww, you poor thang. Been doing them awkward sex moves again? I warned you before, as you may remember. Your giant size body isn’t made to….’

‘Bradley, dear’, Adam heard Brad sigh at the interruption, ‘will you first just come and help me get to the hospital? You can bitch at me on the way there and on the way home again, okay? Deal?’

 The fifth sigh coming from the other side of the line was overacted and playful. ‘Well, you bet your ass I’ll bitch about that toppy attitude of yours, too, honey. I’ll be there before you can say ‘beany baby’!!’

 Hanging up, Adam sank down into his couch again and closed his eyes. Immediately, his brain drifted to the beautiful lips and soft tongue that graced his mouth the night before. ‘So hot, Adam muttered, so hot, so sweet, so funny.’

 Whilst in the hospital Brad hadn’t been able to sit down and shut up for a minute. And it took what felt like thousands of minutes for a doctor to show up and tell him what was going on with that ankle of his.

 ‘No, no. No, it can’t! It’s not… I haven’t got time!!’ ‘What my oh so eloquent friend is trying to say, doctor, is that he’s a lead actor in a play. And he has only two weeks off, so his ankle taking six weeks to heal isn’t really fitting his schedule. Anything we can do to speed up the process?’

 Adam looked at him, gratitude in his eyes, then looked at the man in the white coat expectantly. ‘Please? Anything?’

 ‘It’s a severe sprain, mr Lambert, the ligament is partially torn. You shouldn’t sabotage your health by rushing things. The only thing that could help you heal faster is taking all the rest you can. The more you manage to stay off your feet, preferably with your ankle resting on a pillow or something above heart level for at least the next 48 hours, the better it is. I’ll make sure you can pick up a couple of crutches at the desk downstairs. Make sure you use them.’

 Brad squeezed his hand, trying to calm him down.

 And let them make an appointment in ten days from now. We’ll be able to assess the progress and predict the remaining time to heal completely.’

 They shook hands and Adam reluctantly thanked the doctor after Brad had used his ‘muppet-like’ voice to state: ‘totes not cool to shoot the messenger!’

 Back in the car, Brad looked at Adam before he spoke. ‘You know what this means, right? I’m gonna be all over you like a true nurse Nightingale. I’ve got a, shall I say, rather hot nurse outfit in my closet that was waiting for this occasion. Totes dying to find out what you think! This is gonna be… so… much… fun!!’

 Adam smiled involuntarily at Brad’s bubbliness. It was something he had loved so much when they were together, and he still did. And if Brad hadn’t been this bubbly with other men too in more than one way, they might still have been in a relationship right now. But their outlooks on life and relations had been too different. Their need to talk, laugh, have fun, had retained them in the friendship Adam valued very very much.

 Do what you need to do, Florence. As long as you help me to get up and running again before I have to climb the stage in two weeks, you can do anything you want in whatever outfit you like.’

 *

Despite the occasional headache because of Brad’s inability to shut up – ever – and the lack of sleep due to too many episodes of True Blood every night, Adam had to admit Brad’s presence really helped stay off his feet. When he as much as looked at the kitchen, Brad was there to ask him what he needed and to order him to stay put, ‘legs in the air’. And when they were on the couch watching TV, Brad always made sure to put up a pillow in his lap and lift Adam’s feet up on it. He even got him padded work-out gloves to prevent his hands getting hurt from the leaning on crutches when Adam insisted to go along shopping. The guy was, and always had been, the worst and the best at the same time, all the time.

One day, while out to get detergent and shampoo, Adam had thought he had seen Tommy Joe. He thought he recognised the slender body and the gorgeous lips, but since the guy was lying in the street, sleeping with the hood of his hoodie over his head and partially his face, his guitar clutched between his arms and legs, he hadn’t dared to go and check. He had walked on… wondering…


	9. What's in a name?

When you’ve barely got enough money to eat, it’s probably not wise to adopt another mouth to feed. And basically, he hadn’t been the one doing the adopting, the dog had clearly chosen him.

One morning he had woken up to a warm fuzzy body and instinctively had curled up against it and the dog had let him, sighing a big sigh like only content dogs can do.

Waking up properly, Tommy Joe had laughed aloud in the dogs face. ‘Sorry, pal, but you are really, really ugly. Hahaha… God really pulled a number on you, didn’t he?’

The black dog sat up, tilting his head to the left, one ear hanging besides his cheek, the other pointing in the air as if he was very interested in what Tommy Joe had to say. And the surprised look on his face only aggravated the ridiculousness of the gigantuous underbite the dog had. The whole of his lower teeth were outside and over his upper lip, his pink tongue peeking out in between.

‘Probably no use to ask for your pedigree, right, fellow?’, Tommy Joe pet his head, making the dog nuzzle up to his hand, making a weird snoring sound. ‘Let’s see if you’ve got a name then.’ Tommy Joe felt between his soft fur and the skin folds to find a collar and name tag, but found none.

‘Guess I’ll have to name you myself then. Let’s see. You’re ugly, you’re male, you’re a bastard and you chose me of all people to hang around with. Now what does that say about you? What to name such a weird, yet kind of endearing, creature?’

The dog tilted his head to the other side, then lay down, as if he was thinking too.

‘How about Oscar? As in Oscar Wilde? You look like a free spirit, accepting who he is, even if it  may appear strange to the world. Wanna grab a bite to eat, Oscar?’

At the word ‘eat’ Oscar jumped up on all fours, licking his lips eagerly.

‘Looks like a yes to me. Come on, Oscar Wilde!’

Tommy Joe half expected the dog to stay behind or leave, but Oscar immediately found a walking spot near Tommy Joe’s right ankle and didn’t move further than two inches from there, all the way to the supermarket.

He left the dog outside with a silent nod and went inside to get himself some coffee, bread and fruit. Need to stay healthy, right? Then he went to the right back corner, where the sign above his head indicated ‘pet food’. ‘Damn, he thought, who knew there were so many brands and different kinds of kibbles? And are they coated with fucking gold? Shit, it’s expensive! Now what?’

Weighing all sorts of arguments, it came down to one simple notion: he had NO money. And even the cheapest bag cost more than he could afford. What if he would just let Oscar share his own food? He probably had been eating out of trashcans up till now anyway.

He grabbed a small package of dog treats, half prize; he would use them to train Oscar, so he could do his own part in earning some money. Maybe tourists would pay good bucks to see a dog dance to some Jeff Buckley tunes.

****

 

Three days later Tommy Joe concluded having a dog for a companion actually did a lot of good for your sanity while being out on the street, all alone most of the time. Being able to talk, even though the response was minimal, made him feel… human.

But still; Tommy Joe struggled. Hot during the day, cold during the night and hungry most of the time. He felt useless, bored, lonely. It took his all not to crash into a depression, stop eating and start drinking like a pro.

And as corny as it sounds, he had to admit it had been Oscar who kept him from leaping into the abyss. Every time he let his mind wander to getting a bottle of Jack instead of microwave Mac&cheese (thank god for supermarkets featuring microwaves), the tilted head with the loyal somewhat expression, one ear pointing up, one hanging down, the eyes without judgement and full of respect, kept him from doing just that.

Oscar also proved to be his mini-bodyguard, being an excellent judge of character. He was sweet and joyful towards every good soul walking this earth, but anyone who had it out for his owner, had to deal with a true Cerberus. His cute underbite turned into frightening jaws of death, growls coming loud from deep inside his chest. No one even dared to look at Tommy Joe when ‘Oscar gone Wilde’, as Tommy Joe called him when he was in that state, was standing in front of them.

In more ways and more times than Tommy Joe could name Oscar had saved his life.

***

But feeding himself and his furry friend became more difficult every day. And more often than not, Tommy Joe let Oscar take the food, falling asleep himself with yet again an empty stomach. He was beyond the point that it hurt. The hunger was a dull feeling in his gut, sometimes he even had to force himself to drink. Drinking water made him nauseous, but he knew he had to in order to survive.

Once or twice a week Tommy Joe wandered to the Mandalay Bay, to see the women and men flail over the star of the production. He never came closer, just watched them scream and plead only to get an autograph or a hug. Making sure he couldn’t be seen from Adam’s spot.

He snickered when women would throw themselves at Adam, refusing to let go. He smiled when little kids acted as if they met their superhero. It must be amazing to be idolised by so many, to live the life of a celebrity, if only for a couple of hours a day. And the gracious and generous way Adam acted towards all who came to see him, was truly mind boggling. The guy had to be moody or sad at moments, but during those meetings with fans you could never tell. He was all smiles and hugs.

Somehow it made Tommy Joe feel good, watching that interaction. Watching Adam. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it was a pretty man. Because pretty men didn’t do it for Tommy Joe. Not at all. Just not.

That Thursday night Tommy Joe had felt weak, walking to Mandalay. He had to stop three times on the way, sitting down on the street for a few minutes, before he could walk on. Oscar had sniffed his face a couple of times, licked his cheek when Tommy Joe closed his eyes and drifted off. Every time he tried to get up, Oscar nudged his legs, as if he was urging him to move.

And sitting down, instead of standing up, with Oscar glued to his side, he had watched Adam. Some girls had brought him gifts. Jewellery, it seemed. And Adam was clearly very happy with it, trying it on immediately, letting one girl put the necklace around his neck and the other one put the bracelet around his left wrist. They both shone in the light of the lamp post above his head. He hugged both the girls, thanking them, then continued autographing lots of stuff. ‘Fucking superstar’, Tommy Joe muttered to Oscar, ‘he gets paid and attention and gifts, all because he can hold a note and put one foot before the other. And here we are, hungry and cold. It simply isn’t fair, right?’

A tear rolled down his cheek, then another one. Burying his face in Oscar’s coat he cried, till everything went black.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Brad had turned out to be America’s Next Top Nurse. The moment _that_ reality show would be announced, Adam was so going to sign Brad up for that. The day before Adam had to return to work, he was actually able to walk without his crutches and with a fair amount of pain pills he could dance too.

He had bought Brad a new webcam as a thank-you-gift and assured him a gazillion times that he would be careful, take care of himself, not overdo it, and stay on his back during the next three one night stands.

Not that he had any, lately. The boy up against the wall outside the club had been his last. Felt like ages ago. And those last ages (okay, weeks, but it sure as hell felt longer) there had been a slim, funny, brown eyed man on his mind, crowding his mind in a way it didn’t leave any room whatsoever for other guys.

And the next day, he would see him again. His stomach fluttered. He would pass him by, twice a day, every day, starting tomorrow.

Adam got up the next morning, pretending he didn’t spend extra time in front of the mirror, trying to get that annoying strand of hair to stay in line with the rest of it, because he would walk past Tommy Joe.

He left the house ten minutes earlier than usual, all jittery and nervous. He had rehearsed about 86 opening lines, all of them lame as shit. ‘I fucking suck… sheesh’, he sighed.

When he hit the street corner where Tommy Joe used to work, he found only those sleazy bastard co-workers of his. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask them anything.

*******

The show had pushed him to the limit, his ankle still hurting more than he really could handle, but at least he got through it and he still had a job. Removing his makeup, he started to think about the blonde.

Walking home, once again, he didn’t find Tommy Joe at his usual spot, and he started to wonder what was going on. Pieces of conversation started to come back to him, from the night he got carried to his car. _Didn’t he say something about losing everything, his job, his girl? He must have another job But what? And where? Was he ever going to see him again?_

There was nothing he could do. He got up, got his groceries, did his shows, saw his friends, did everything like he would normally do. He forced himself not to think about Tommy Joe. No way he would be able to find him in this town. Only if he would bump into him accidentally, someday, somewhere, he would meet him again. And Adam trusted karma to work in his favour.

****

The show that Thursday night hadn’t been his best. He had slipped a few notes and even forgot a line somewhere in the middle. Thank god for Janice who continued as if nothing happened and saved his ass. He hugged her afterwards, before sagging into his chair in his dressing room. _What is wrong with me? I’ve done this over sixty times now. How can I forget a line? Idiot._

He continued to kick his own ass till he was outside, a bit surprised to see all the people lining up to meet him. His heart filled with a grateful feeling. Even when he screwed up they supported him. Hell, they even brought him presents. _How did I become the luckiest guy in the world?_

When everyone was gone, he picked up his bag and walked to the main street. Just when he turned the corner he heard a bark. Before he even had time to turn around, a dog, a very ugly dog for that matter, was jumping against his legs, trying to get his jaws into his coat. ‘What the hell, dog? What is your problem? Get off me!’ He tried to walk on, but the dog just wouldn’t let him. It started to tug at him, trying to get Adam to walk the other way. As Adam turned around to get the dog to let go, he saw a small figure lying down at the other side of the street. And he recognised him right away.

His eyes widened as two people, who obviously just left the theatre, stepped over him, as if he was some drug addict who didn’t matter. _What the fuck?_

‘Tommy? Tommy Joe?’

Taking a few steps, the dog close to his left calf, barking still, he raised his voice. ‘TOMMY?! Are you okay?’

The last few steps he ran, crouching down to lift the limp body. Tommy Joe’s eyes were closed, he was unconscious. Bowing down his head, Adam listened closely; he was still breathing. ‘What the hell?’, he muttered.

He reached for his phone, dialing 911, desperately keeping himself from hyperventilating. Just when he pressed call, he felt a frail hand reach for his phone. ‘No’, Tommy Joe whispered, ‘no ambulance, no hospital. Please, no.’

Adam stared at Tommy Joe, his brown eyes broken and pleading. Ending the call, Adam put his phone in his pocket.

‘Take the dog. Please? His name is Oscar’, the tear stains on Tommy Joe’s face broke Adam’s heart, ‘just let me lay here. It’s okay. I’m… just… it’s okay’.

‘The fuck it is, sweetie, the fuck it is. If you’re not going to a hospital, then you’re coming with me. I sure as hell ain’t gonna let you die on the streets. Are you fucking kidding me?’

Adam puts his hands under the small man’s body and lifted him like a baby. He was surprised at how little weight was in his hands, relieved by the notion he would be able to carry him home. As he started to walk, Tommy Joe’s eyes fell shut again. The dog, or Oscar as you will, kept close to him, looking up every few steps as if he wanted to know the status of his owner. Adam looked Oscar in the eye. ‘He’s gonna be fine, Oscar, I’ll make sure of it.’


	10. Misunderstandings

_The feather light kisses planted all across his face made him squirm. Strong hands roamed his body, holding him still on the bed. The combination of sweetness and brute strength was strangely arousing._ _The kisses were now concentrated at the area around his mouth, a tongue licking his bottom lip. Involuntarily he parted his lips, offering entrance. The stubble on the face that was parting his lips further, demanding en_ _trance to his mouth, and in a way to his being, was strangely hot. Kissing a man proved to be very hot, especially when he is as skilled as this one. A hand took hold of his neck, where it connected to his shoulder. A thumb brushed along his jaw, then went down and found a nipple. Teasingly, the man rubbed it, sending bolts to his groin. He moaned, pushing his body into the rubbing, arching his back. The hand wandered further down, slowly taking hold of the bulge in his pants. He gasped… His eyes flew open…_

 

Tommy Joe’s brain brought him back to consciousness from the dream. He kept his eyes closed when he noticed someone was near, steadying his breath, pretending to still be asleep. A thumb was brushing his cheek. The humming, coming from the thumb’s owner, was weirdly soothing.

 With his eyes closed, not ready to face what or who was on the other side of his eyelids, Tommy Joe relied on his other senses to find out more about his whereabouts and his state of being. The surface he was lying on was soft, had to be a bed or a large couch. Different smells, dominated by some kind of soup and a musky aftershave, penetrated his nose. He felt fur against his calves. Oh, great, am I naked?

 A sniffing nose touched his inner thigh in a familiar way, but there was fabric between the wet nuzzle of what had to be Oscar and his skin. _So, at least I’m still in my boxers, that’s something._

 Tommy Joe tried to hide his smile at Oscar’s now waving tail, touching both of his legs. Of course, Oscar couldn’t be misled; he knew he was awake.

 ‘What are you doing, Oscar? Trying to wake him, are you? You fed up waiting for your master to play with you? We had fun the last few days, didn’t we? You’re such a good dog, even if you’re as ugly as my aunt Marie’.

 He knew that voice. He had never heard it this loving or cheery, but he knew it.

  _Wait? Did he say ‘a few days’? Have I been here for days?_

 Snippets of consciousness came back to Tommy Joe. A wet cloth being laid on his forehead. A hand steadying his head and neck while he was being fed tiny bites of food, or helped to take sips of lukewarm tea. And the singing. The angelic voice, reaching for something inside him but not quite getting there.

 Someone had been taking care of him. His stomach didn’t feel as empty as it had felt in the week prior… to him collapsing.

 He remembered now. Remembered seeing Adam hovering over him while he was lying in the street. He had asked Adam to save Oscar, and pleaded not to take him to the hospital. He had been convinced he was dying. And yet… Here he was, alive but not yet kicking. Feeling a hell of lot better, though.

  _But where exactly am I?_

 A paw, neatly placed in his groin, made Tommy Joe grunt. Apparently, Oscar had thought it a good plan to come lick his face. ‘O, Oscar! Look what you did! That’s no way to greet your master’.

 The weight of the dog was lifted off his chest, the hand returned to his face, stroking his cheek. ‘Honey, are you awake? How do you feel? Can you say something?’

 Tommy Joe blinked a couple of times, then scrunched his face against the bright light. But it was the brightness of the greyish blueish eyes in the happy face hovering over him that nearly blinded him. And the big smile widened even more when their eyes met and Tommy Joe whispered: ‘Hi’.

 ‘Hello there, gorgeous’, was whispered back at him. ‘I’m so happy you decided to re-enter the world of the living. Look at you! All surprised and full of questions’. They looked in each other's eyes, faces close to one another. Something in the air changed. It became thick, making it difficult to breath. He swallowed, loudly, then blinked twice. It was as if Adam was peering inside of him. Then Adam closed his eyes, and shook his head almost unnoticeably. He saw Adam get up eager to create space between the two of them, and the feeling of loss hit him. _What the…?_

 ‘You can ask anything you want later, but first, eat this. Can you sit up? Just a bit, so I can place it in your lap?’

 Tommy Joe struggled to position his back against the cushions on what apparently indeed was a big couch. A tray with a big bowl of soup and some fresh milk was put on his thighs. ‘You’re still a bag of bones, it’s scary. Come on. Eat. You need to build some strength’.

 Feeling overwhelmed by it all, Tommy Joe decided to stay quiet and listen to his growling stomach. He took the spoon and brought it filled with soup to his mouth. He closed his eyes as he let it roll around in his mouth and swallowed. _Damn. This shit is good._ He looked at Oscar, who was sitting next to him on the floor, looking as if he could dance with joy.

 Tommy Joe reached out and scratched his ear. ‘Hello, little rascal. Missed me?’ After getting a firm lick on his hand, he continued eating his soup, still hesitant to looking up at the man standing a few feet away, probably observing him.

 ‘You are going to act all awkward over this, aren’t you?’ The tone is matter-of-factly, rather than accusatory.

 Tommy Joe looks up, to Adam, and takes a breath.

 ‘Sorry if I don’t know how to handle being in a stranger’s home for days, out cold, not knowing what happened, what I did….what we did….’

 He sees Adam flinch at the word ‘stranger’, then his face goes from surprised to pensive. Once realisation of what he actually meant kicked in, Adam’s face goes dark.

 ‘Are you fucking kidding me? What we DID? You actually think I’d scrape your near-dead ass of the pavement to bring you into my home and molest you while you are unconscious? For fuck’s sake…?! I can’t… even…

 Tommy Joe watches Adam prowl back and forth, his hands clasping his head in anger and frustration.

 ‘God damn it. What are you even? Normal people would just say: thank you. Noooo! You accuse me of getting into your pants while you’re in a coma on my sofa. You need to get off your high horse, mister! You ain’t all that. Fuck you!!!

 With that, he storms out. Tommy Joe had tried to interrupt the rant, raising his finger like a little kid needing to go peepee, but there had been no way in hell he’d get a word in. He feels like shit, cringing when the front door slams shut too loudly.

  _Well. What was I supposed to_ _think? I’m half naked, on his couch_ _. And he forced himself upon me once before. Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again? He had made it perfectly clear he wanted to. Numerous times._ But trying to make it feel as if it wasn’t his fault didn’t work at all. The fact that the dream came back to mind didn’t help either. He’d done wrong.

 Tommy Joe stared into his bow of soup, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. ‘I’m an asshole, Oscar, I am’. And for once, Oscar didn’t seem to disagree.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Adam ran down the staircase, cursing out every page of the urban dictionary till he was two blocks away from his home and at the letter T.

 He was fuming. Thank god he had been able to walk out before he really lost it. He would have shaken the boy so hard, his tattoos would have fallen off. That elf-like boy that had been lying on his couch for three days, all picture perfect, once again turned out to be a bastard.

 How could he have been so stupid? Again?!? He should know better by now. The straight guys always screwed him over. Which was truly ironic, since they always accused him of doing that to them. Fuck it! I’m done. Enough is enough!

 He grabbed his phone and called his boss. ‘Hi. Adam here. Yes. Much better. Thanks! The ankle is fine now. I’ll be back tonight if that’s alright? Great. And, Stan, thank you for your understanding and flexibility’.

 He had called in sick the morning after he had taken Tommy Joe home, claiming his ankle was hurting too much. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to be missing any more performances with fans begging for his attention for that little shit. Done!

 Brad had been very interested to see who could get Adam this revved up. He had known his friend to be tolerant, friendly and loving towards almost anyone. Yes, he could get hurt or be mad due to someone’s behaviour, but he always made an effort to separate the behaviour from the person and it never lasted very long. And now, Adam was walking next to him, shaking with anger. For fifteen minutes! A record, for sure.

 They stayed quiet the whole way back, after Adam had told him the bare essentials: ‘this guy, Tommy Joe, rescued him from starvation. In my home. He’s an asshole. Help me’. Adam didn’t even notice his fast pace almost made Brad run to keep up, his legs much shorter than his.

 When they entered the room, they found the blonde man on the sofa, a glass of vodka in his one hand, remote control in the other. He jerked up at the sound of the two men entering.

 ‘Adam… I… I’m…’ ‘Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I don’t wanna hear it. None of it. Shut your face and listen to me’.

 Adam’s eyes were shooting daggers, his voice was more a growl than anything else. Even the man standing next to him took a step back.

 ‘I am going to work. I already regret having given up three nights performing to take care of you. So I’m not gonna waste any more time. You are, however, extremely lucky I’m not the son of a bitch you obviously think I am.’

 Adam grabbed Brad’s shoulder, earning him an annoyed face from the small man.

 ‘This here is Brad, aka Cheeks. He’s my ex, and one of my best friends. He’s gonna stay with you the next three nights while I’m gone, till you’re well again. And after that, you’re going to leave this house, and my life, and never EVER come near me again. Furthermore, you should start praying for someone else to give a damn about you, because the next time I find you unconscious on the street I will take these long gay legs and step right over you.’

 Adam panted, clutching his hand to his mouth, as if he was stunned by what was coming out of it, just as Brad and Tommy Joe clearly were.

 Both had their mouths hanging open, two pair of big brown eyes wide and astonished. It would have been comical if Adam hadn’t been terrified himself by the rage pouring out of him during that monologue. _This isn’t who I am, who I want to be? What the fuck did I do?_

 He turned around, jaws clenching and got his stuff from his bedroom, then left the apartment.


	11. Baby Steps

Tommy Joe looked at the man Adam had introduced as Brad, and whose nickname was… Cheeks?

‘So’, he began.

‘What the hell did you do?!’ Brad spat at him. ‘I’ve never seen Adam like this, not even when he found me being spanked in the lap of another, naked, man. He’s pure fury. Spill it!’

Tommy Joe saw the small but seemingly muscled guy come closer and he stood up, ready to defend himself. He could throw a punch or two himself, practiced that shit enough living on the streets. His body was tense, his feet wide, his hands balled into tight fists. _Bring it on._

Brad walked up to him, his arms slack next to his body, hands relaxed and he came to a stop with his face an inch from Tommy Joe’s. He cocked his hip, lifting his chin up in sync with one eyebrow.

‘Whatcha doin’? Hm? You wish to fight me? Oh hun, that’s so precious. And hysterically funny, too’.

He dropped down, one knee bent under his butt in the sofa and tapped the cushion next to him. ‘Sit’.

Tommy Joe was at a loss for words. _Who is this guy? What… just…_

‘Oh, come on, tough guy. You’re afraid to sit next to me? I won’t bite you! Well, I would, if you’d want me to and if you hadn’t pissed off Adam so much. But I won’t right now. The only thing you legit should be afraid of, is me giving you a make over. Cause seriously… So much pretty getting lost in that poor excuse for an outfit. Damn. Anyways… sit!’

How can a guy talk so fast? I don’t even know what it is exactly that he said. Biting? Make over? What?

Tommy Joe sat down, hands clasping the edge of the couch on either side of his legs. He felt incredibly uncomfortable, with the guy next to him so incredibly unpredictable in his frame of mind.

‘Good boy. Look at you. You’re totes out of your comfort-zone aren’t you? Why am I so scary to you? Why is Adam? Or are you scared of yourself, of life itself?

Oooh, that’s a cute doggie. Yes, you are! Yes, you totes are! Cute, cuddly doggie-woggie. Cute as a button. Yes, you are!’

Tommy Joe stared dumbfounded at Oscar licking Brad’s face, letting the truth of his words sink in. _Afraid of life, of himself? Why does that feel important? All this shit inside stirring?_

‘Oscar, stop that.’

‘Ah. It has a voice. It can speak. Now, let’s see if something remotely relevant or interesting can come out of it?’

Brad put his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his hands, blinking a couple of times. His face open, amused and questioning.

The anger Tommy Joe felt at the degrading choice of words suddenly disappeared and he grinned. ‘You are something else, Brad. What are you?’

‘Huge amounts of awesomeness. And sparkly too. That’s what I am. And you?’

‘Sadness’, Tommy Joe answered, surprised by the profoundness and frankness of his answer, ‘Same amounts’.

‘I figured as much. Only people who bleed themselves can stab others like you did Adam. Why are you sad?’

Tommy Joe sighed.

Brad listened attentively to Tommy Joe’s life story, sometimes nodding, sometimes urging him to continue when it became difficult to form words. When Tommy Joe came to the part of him ending up living on the streets Brad put his hand on Tommy Joe’s hands that were now clenched together.And Tommy Joe didn’t even try to hold b ack the tears when he whispered he thought he’d die a couple of days ago. He let himself be ushered against the other man’s chest, sobbing, crying.

Brad just cuddled him, holding him close, stroking his back and his hair, whispering soothing words. ‘It’s okay, sweetie. You’re so brave. Thank you for telling me. You’ve had such a sad past. But it is in the past, you know? That’s it. Get it all out.’

Somewhere in between sobs, Tommy Joe must have dozed off. When he opened his eyes his head was on someone’s lap; Brad’s lap. A hand was stroking his bangs, while a Kardashian, Khloé, Kim, or whoever was screaming on the television. His face felt weird, the heaviness in his body seemed to have lifted. He never had cried as much as he had, cuddled by a man named Cheeks.

Life’s path is a strange path.

Tommy Joe sat up, a faint smile on his lips. Brad’s hand lingered on his cheek, he smiled back. ‘You look so pretty when you sleep’, he stated.

And somehow it didn’t feel as awkward as it should have felt.

‘Yes, he sure does! Too bad he’s a total ass when he’s awake.’ Tommy Joe and Brad looked up and found Adam doing something in the kitchen.

Brad’s eyes found his, pleading him to stay calm and not react to Adam, to accept the insult coming from a wounded heart. There was a whole conversation going on between him and Brad, no words, no sounds.

With his back to the living room Adam muttered, ‘The brat thinks he’s the only one who has known hard times. And that it’s an excuse to treat others like shit’. Pans were dashed on the kitchen counter, while the grumbling continued.

‘You feed him, you attend to him, let him sleep on your couch. And what do you get? Allegations of assault! That’s what you get. Of sexual assault, for fuck’s sake!’

Three plates were dashed next to the pan and with wild overstated gestures the mashed potatoes were tossed onto them. Dramatically he raised his arms, walking over to the fridge.

‘As if I couldn’t find some hot guy to fuck, who’s actually willing. I’ve got a big dick. I’ve been told numerous times it’s fucking huge… and beautiful. And they love sucking it. Lots of boys want it. And me! Don’t need to assault no one!’

Tommy Joe looked at Brad, who wiggled his eyebrows seductively during an overstated nod with a knowing grin.

It caused Tommy Joe to giggle. Once, softly. He couldn’t help it. And that set off a chain reaction between him and Brad resulting in a full blown giggle fit.

‘What the…?’

The confused, surprised and indignant face in the kitchen above three plates of abused mashed potatoes was too much.

Tommy Joe and Brad doubled over, leaning into each other, the laughing taking away their ability to speak or even breath. Every time they eased up, calming down just a bit, it didn’t take long before a shared look or another huff coming from Adam caused them to start again.

And finally, even Adam couldn’t hold it anymore. Brad’s laugh had always been contagious to him, but Tommy Joe’s giggle was what made him lose it.

Tommy Joe felt two small hands taking hold of his shoulders, his back pushed against the chest behind him, both of them leaning into the couch. Tommy Joe pulled one leg up and cuddled even closer to Brad.

He felt Brad take a breath. ‘You, honey, are a certified, bonafide drama queen with a capital D! Furrealz!’ Tommy Joe felt a hand in his hair and unconsciously pushed into it. ‘But we think you’re adorable, don’t we, Tommy Joe?’

Tommy Joe raised his head, locked eyes with Adam and smiled clumsily.

‘Yup’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam noticed the subtle blush on the blonde’s cheeks. And he himself was struggling from not turning beet red at the sight of the two pretty boys cuddled up to each other on his couch. At least he could blame the giggle fit.

‘Ok, yes, I am a drama queen. But then again, it is what I’m getting paid for six nights a week, so it’s what I’m supposed to be.’

His face turned serious.

‘You okay?’

Even though the question was obviously meant for Tommy Joe, Brad wouldn’t have the tension creeping back into the air.

‘Of course he is, Adam. He is no sissy. You can’t break him with a pity tantrum’, Brad said as he got up and walked to the kitchen, put his arms around Adam and planted his face to the broad chest. The hug was genuine and comforting, yet urging to let it be.

‘So what’s for midnight snack? Me and pretty haven’t eaten or drunk anything since you left.’

He looked at the plates, sniffed in the pans. ‘Oh noes! Easy on the carbohydrates there, mister. Wouldn’t wanna ruin this gorgeous physique with perky obliques and make me unworthy of my nickname, now do you?’

Adam looked at Tommy Joe, who was petting Oscar but clearly listening to the Cheeks-chatter. His smile was sweet, even fond. _They must have had a good talk. He looks so at ease._

He reached for Brad, taking his chin into his hand and looked at him. ‘I love you’, he said softly, then kissed him on the lips.

‘Of course you do! I’m amazeballs. Just like I told my buddy here. Didn’t I, Tommy Joe? Didn’t we agree I’m awesome?’

Adam saw Tommy Joe get off the couch and walk up to them. ‘Well, you’re something else. I agreed to that. And… you’re a really good listener. The best, maybe’.

Cheeks was beaming, grabbing all three plates, bringing them to the table as if he was serving in a fancy restaurant, swaying his hips.

Adam felt a hand touching his arm, and did his best to ignore the sparks coming from it. He looked into two brown serious-looking eyes. ‘Thank you. For letting me stay, for taking care of me, feeding me. For… saving me, really. And Oscar, too. Please accept my apology for the things I said?’

What is it about this guy that he seems to cut through all my walls and defences? It’s weird, dangerous. I don’t want to feel this… Vulnerable.

‘Right. Yeah. Well. We’ll see. Words are easy, aren’t they?’

Brad’s head jerked up and a thundercloud gathered in his eyes, the what-the-fuck’s shooting from them.

Tommy Joe lowered his head, nodded pensive. ‘Yes, they are. You should know, with what you spat at me yesterday.’

With that he grabbed the glasses of soda and gave one of them to Brad, who put his other arm around the blonde’s shoulders as he wanted to protect and comfort him.

***

The three of them ate in silence after that. Just like they spent the rest of the night, till Adam called it a night at two a.m., right after Tommy Joe came back from walking Oscar.

With a hint of sadness he turned around before leaving the room. ‘G’night’.

‘Nighty night, hard headed loveable bastard’, Brad replied.

He heard Brad direct his words to Tommy Joe and couldn’t bring himself to move. Eavesdropping was no habit of his, but he was so puzzled by the blonde in his living room, he couldn’t bear it.

‘Wow, pretty. Just… wow. For a straight guy, you really know how to be a bitch, don’t you? Pouty lips included and all. Uncanny!’

He heard Tommy Joe huff and move on his couch. He imagined there was more distance between Tommy Joe and Brad now.

‘O, don’t you huff at me, mister. Don’t you dare! Seen you at your worst, all broken open. And at your sweetest, all comfortably cuddled up against my hot bod. You don’t get to act all tough and distant with me anymore. I see right through you, ain’t nothing you can do about that. Come here.’

He heard Tommy Joe whine and grunt as he was probably forced into a famous, or is it infamous, breath supply obtrusive hug from Brad.

‘I’m gonna hug you like this till you relax, pretty. Till the narrow minded part of your brain is no longer in charge, and you listen to your heart, soul and body that are telling you hugging a guy is okay.’

A soft sigh, a bit choked, was the only response. Adam longed he could see what was happening.

‘Someone really did a number on you, didn’t they? Who was it? Homophobic tyrannic father? Bullies at school? Some guy who groped you? Who made you not wanting to be yourself anymore?’

A sob, then another. Adam perked his ears. Soft, heartbreaking sounds of a soul in need. Adam grabbed the door of the cupboard just outside his living room door. It took everything he had in him not to walk back in and put his arms around Tommy Joe, kiss the tears away. And he felt awful hearing all this, without them knowing. But moving his legs just wasn’t an option.

He heard Brad, his sweet sweet bitchy Cheeks, continue.

‘Ok, here we go. So many tears, in such a tiny body. You know what? I’ll let you cry, and scream, and stay quiet for now. But tomorrow we’ll talk for real. About who you are, who you want to be and how you are going to get there’.

Adam got up on his toes and tiptoed to his bedroom as silently as he could manage. He was sure they hadn’t heard him.

While he was undressing he kept thinking of what he had heard. As shallow and cheerful Brad appeared to be, in reality he was a very smart and kind human being. Adam knew that already, but tonight it pained him again, knowing they hadn’t been able to make it work as a couple.

Trying to go to sleep ended up in endless tossing and turning. Counting backwards, singing lullaby’s in his head. Nothing worked. All he could think of was Tommy Joe, on his couch, in the room next to his.

The urge grew. The urge to get up and see him. Just look at him. To see if he was asleep peacefully, to see him murmur in his sleep as he had done so often the last few nights.

Adam looked at the clock on his phone, 5 a.m. Damn it. Brad had left two and a half hours ago. They were alone.

He got up, put on some pyjama bottoms and walked to his kitchen. A cup of tea might work.

With the tea with honey in his hand he walked into the living room, sitting down on the coffee table, vigorously ignoring the voice in his head screaming he was a creepy stalker.

He sipped his tea, watching Tommy Joe’s face. He wasn’t completely at ease, he could tell. _It should be illegal to be this gorgeous. It’s so, so unfair._

When he looked up from his tea, two brown eyes were staring at him. It startled him, paralyzing him. They looked at each other for what felt like hours, but it couldn’t have been more than two minutes.

Something in those brown eyes, still a bit sleepy but very alert at the same time, drew him in. The world seemed to slow down, and to reduce to just the both of them.

Adam put down his cup of tea and got to his knees in front of the couch. Tommy Joe’s face was close to his and neither of them moved. The brown eyes went from his own to his mouth and back again, a gleam of something in them Adam couldn’t name.

And then Adam kissed him. He couldn’t help himself. It was as if Tommy Joe was a life-size magnet pulling him in. Their lips touched, softly, tentatively. A second, they parted and the Adam pressed his lips to Tommy’s again, even more softly but somehow more urgent.

Tommy Joe’s lips were soft and full, a short stubble of his beard touching his chin. Adam darted out his tongue. He needed to taste more. The want was suddenly overwhelming him.

He moved his tongue over the blonde’s upper lip, caressing, feeling. Then the bottom lip, eagerly trying to find a way in without forcing entrance.

A tingling sensation starting in his toes moving up to the top of his head embraced him as a tip of the other man’s tongue touched his own. Tommy Joe parted his lips, carefully,  the road ahead so new and scary he had to touch the ground with his toes first before putting another foot before the other.

Adam let Tommy Joe set the pace, constantly inviting him to take it a little step further. To open up from the inside out, his lips representing the outer layer of his soul.

Adam put his hands on Tommy Joe’s right upper arm and left shoulder, gently pulling him closer. Tommy Joe felt so delicate in his arms. His energy so vulnerable, yet strong and determined.

They were kissing for real now, exploring each other’s mouth, lips nipping, tongues entwining. Adam felt the energy in Tommy Joe change, the passiveness making place for eagerness, for want. A small moan slipped from the blonde’s mouth.

And that’s when reality hit him in the face, hard. _I’m kissing a straight guy who accused me of assaulting him, after watching him sleep. I’m the creepiest fucker ever to have walked this earth._

Adam froze, opened his eyes. His scared gaze met a confused one.

As if moving in slow motion Adam let go of the other man, sat back on the coffee table. Still looking into the slightly lidded brown eyes, he grabbed his cup of tea and took a sip before clearing his throat.

He watched Tommy Joe raise his left hand to touch his own mouth, the disbelieve oozing from the simple gesture.

‘I…’

‘Adam…’

The unison of their speech made both of them stop, not knowing who should go first.

Adam chickened out. _I can’t do this. I don’t know what to say. He’s gonna go ballistic, and this time he has every right to. I can’t do this._

He gets up without a word and all but runs to his bedroom.


	12. Who am I?

Tommy Joe woke up with something more than the normal morning wood. Blood pulsing, not just in his groin, but everywhere.

Unconsciously, he did the same thing as a few hours earlier; he touched his own lips, as if that would provide answers to the numerous questions roaming around in his head.

He groaned, lowering his hand to grab his dick. _What the hell happened last night? Why didn’t I resist?_

Somehow the least insane answer in Tommy Joe’s mind is Cheeks casting a spell on his tiny ass. How else could he explain him kissing Adam back like he did and getting aroused by doing so?

_I have to get out of here…_

He looked to the other side of the room where Oscar was curled up into a giant furball.

‘Oscar’, he whispered, ‘hey, Oscar. Wanna go for a walk?’

He walked through the hall and found the door to Adam’s bedroom to be open with no one inside. The bathroom was unoccupied.

_For fuck’s sake! He just left! Kissed me, went to bed and left me without as much as a word, a note or whatever. So much for gays being the sensitive types!_

His anger found a way through his arm swinging the front door open with much too much force. Slamming it into the wall.

He had expected a lot, but certainly not Brad flirting with one of the neighbours of the apartment building.

‘Yes, sweet cakes. Apartment 17b, got it. And you’ll see me, when you see me there. Make sure you’re ready for a night you’ll surely remember. I’m gonna… oh… hey, pretty. Was just talking to your seriously hot neighbour here. His name is Rob? Ain’t he irresistible?’

Tommy Joe growled, turned around, strut back in and started pacing back and forth between the coffee table and the TV.

Brad closed the door behind him and just stood there, indecisive on what to do with this prowling, animal-like, human being. Back and forth, it only took six steps in the small space. Back and forth. Like a caged animal.

‘Ehm… Tommy Joe… Could you just, like, maybe stand still for a minute? When it’s not Federer’s ass I’m watching, I’m really not that into watching a game of tennis’.

Tommy Joe got to a halt, abruptly.

‘We kissed, Brad. We… Kissed!!’

The pacing resumed.

‘Ehm… Say what?’

‘We KISSED. And it wasn’t him kissing me, and me fighting to get away. I kissed back. Because I wanted to. I wanted to kiss him!’

Again he stopped. Facing Brad, he brought his arms alongside his body, hands turned open wide. His expression was dazed. ‘Who am I, Brad? Or in what universe have I landed?’

Another six steps.

‘I just don’t know’.

The fact that Brad was used to listening to himself talk fast and inimitable, made it possible to make something of Tommy Joe’s rambling.

‘You… kissed… ‘

‘Ding ding ding! You just won the dishwasher. Do you want to continue for the set of steak knives?’

Tommy Joe sunk to his knees on the floor next to the coffee table, grabbing it as if it was a life line. He sighed.

‘Yes, we did. Now help me figure out what it means. What to do. The fucker left, you know? He’s not here as you might have noticed. Hasn’t said one word after the tongue wrestling. God, it was goooood. Really good. I… ‘

‘Shush, Tommy Joe. Just… Shush!’

Brad walked to the kitchen and grabbed two cups. ‘No coffee for you. Won’t mix very well with this ADHD-state of mind you’re in. Yes. Herbal tea. Very good. ‘

Brad pushed the cup of tea into Tommy Joe’s hands, after ordering him to take a seat on the couch with just a jerk of his head.

‘Ok. So, let’s see if I get this right. You like Adam. You think he is attractive, and you like kissing him. In the narrow minded reality, your brain has been in all your life, you consider that to be a problem. That you need help.’

Brad put a hand on the blonde’s arm and squeezed softly. ‘And this is me telling you, you don’t need help and this isn’t a problem’.

Tommy Joe made a dismissive sound, somewhere between a huff and a growl.

‘It isn’t. Adam likes you, too. You know that by now, right? With all the kissing and stuff? Or, the teeny tiny detail of him saving your life, letting you verbally abuse him and still letting you stay?’

Tommy Joe hung his head. Brad saying out loud that Adam likes him made his chest swell, glee and anxiety fighting for dominance.

‘And I do understand it’s difficult to change the paradigm with the toxic dogma’s you’ve been living in, but it can be done and it can make things better. Hell, we would still have been scared to fall of the edge of the earth if it hadn’t been for Galileo. Making it possible in your brain to fall in love with a guy is mind-blowingly small compared to that, right?’

Tommy Joe knew what Brad tried to say. And even though everything he said shouldn’t have made any sense to him, it actually did. A lot. But the mess in his head, combined with the mess in his soul, distorted by the mess in his heart made it difficult to see the implications.

‘What do I do?’

‘Ah, yes. Such a manly question: what to do? What is the solution? Me, in cave, make tools, save tribe. That’s not the right question, pretty. Try again.’

Tommy Joe both loved and hated Brad for challenging him like this. Hurting his brain, squeezing every drop of sense out of him.

‘Who do I want to be?’

It came out as a whisper, and the last part of the breath of that whisper was smacked out of him by a forceful hug.

Brad’s voice close to his ear whispered appraisingly. ‘That’s it, Tommy Joe. Who do you want to be?’

Brad got up and grabbed Oscar’s leash from the kitchen counter and gave it to Tommy Joe.

‘Now, off you go. Shoulders back, chest up, nose in the air, near-to-non-existent ass in a sway. And ponder that question before you come back here.’

Tommy Joe let himself wander the streets. His mind repeating that same question over and over. How could one guy have caused an existential crisis in him? How?

Tommy Joe struggled. Adam found the key to his heart, went inside, made himself at home, redecorated the place, feng shui-ed it for fuck's sake. And now Tommy had to decide: kick his butt out and change the locks, or keep him there and get the lube out of the freshly painted nightstand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting at Starbucks all morning hadn’t done much good to Adam’s guilt trip. The blaming statement ‘You took advantage of him’ kept ringing in his head.

He felt cold even though the air conditioning inside really wasn’t compensating much for the 104 degrees outdoors.

He yearned. He had never really understood the meaning of that word, but now it held all the truth in his existence.

He yearned for Tommy Joe. For kissing him, and holding him, and caressing him. For a reality in which he’d actually have a chance of getting that gorgeous man to be his.

He sighed.

_I’m lost. Dead. Can’t be helped. What can I do?_

He got up and ordered another caramel frappucchino. _Self-destruction for the win!_

Absently he browsed through the coffee related magazine, licking the thick caramel off the whipped cream.

_Ok, man up, drama queen. It’s not the first and it won’t be the last time you can’t get what you want._

_I’m gonna go home tonight, act civil, tell him to leave and get on with my life. He’s well enough now. And if he can’t find a place to stay, I’ll ask Brad to take him in for another couple of days._

He tossed his empty cup in the trash bin and stepped outside in the hot sun and drew a deep breath.

‘Man up’, he said out loud, ‘Just man up’.

Adam continued his morning, working through an inner battle of feeling sad and determined. This was not going to be his downfall, yet it felt like a part of him was dying.

 _Which is ridiculous_ , he thought while he dressed for the matinee performance. Somehow transforming into Sky Masterson brought new, more bold and tough thoughts into his mind.

Method acting had never been his thing, but he did feel another energy taking over sometimes when the role inspired him. And the joie the vivre, the pride and the courage Sky Masterson embodied did inspire him. It stirred up a flame inside.

_It’s ridiculous. Don’t even know the guy. Lots of fish in the sea. I’m not gonna abort because of one of them. Not even when it’s a gorgeous one._

His performance was dead on that night. He poured his whole being into it, longing to be freed of the disturbance in real life. And the audience loved him. He wanted to bathe in the energy coming from them.

He took his time autographing, posing for pics and talking to admirers. It felt good to be idolized, even if a small voice in the back of his head sneered that they loved Sky and not him.

All the way home he talked to himself, convincing himself that this was the right thing to do, that he could do this and that he would back down. ‘Man up’.

When he walked into his living room, Oscar jumped up against his legs, barked twice, tail wiggling as a sign of his happiness to see Adam.

Adam saw Tommy Joe get up and wipe his hands on his jeans on the side of his legs. Adam couldn’t read the emotion in his face, but it looked like something was up. And not in a good way. _Damn it, keep it together._

Of course he is upset, after that kiss last night. O god, that kiss. That godawful fantastic kiss.

Adam felt a blush creep up his neck and shook his head, willing the thoughts out of it by force.

With a short ‘hi’ he turned and walked to the kitchen. Adam took two glasses and grabbed the whiskey. ‘We need to talk’, he said.

‘We do’, Tommy Joe answered softly.

They looked at each other, apprehension and insecurity hanging thickly in the air.

Adam nodded and walked over to the couch. They both sat down, getting as much distance between them as the size of the couch allowed.

‘I’m gonna be totally honest with you’, Adam began, ‘I have to be. And please let me finish before you speak’. He took another gulp of his whiskey.

‘I like you. There’s no use in denying it after last night, or after the last few times we met. I think you’re gorgeous, you’re intriguing, you’re sexy. And even when you act like a mean bastard, I want you. Badly. I can’t help it. Just like you can’t help being straight and not being attracted to me’.

Tommy Joe opened his mouth, raising a hand.

‘No, wait’, Adam stopped him, ‘Let me finish. Damn, do you ever listen to anyone? I’m sorry I kissed you last night. Well, part of me is anyway. The other part is happy to at least have gotten a taste of you, of what could have been if things were different. If you were…

But I shouldn’t have done that. And in order to not let that happen again, in order to protect you and me, I need you to leave. I’ll ask Brad if you can stay with him till you can take care of yourself.

I do hope you won’t leave thinking I’m an awful person or that your homophobia has gotten worse because of what I did. Not every gay wants every man, and there really isn’t anything wrong with people who are gay. I truly hope you will be able to open up your mind a bit, going through life and meeting people, lots of them very different from you. Anyway, I’m not here to lecture you. I just think an open mind makes for happier living.’

He took a deep breath, looked at Tommy Joe, who was still looking down but whose face showed surprise, sadness and belligerency.

‘So. In short. I like you, I’m sorry and I need you to leave’.

A silence filled the room.

‘No’

It was whispered, but with force and determination.

‘What?’

‘I’m not…’, Tommy Joe raised his head, the look in his eyes fierce and vulnerable.

‘Ehm… I don’t think you have a choice, Tommy Joe. This is my house and I want you to leave.’

‘I’m not... straight’


	13. Drunk on reality

It felt like something opened up inside him and a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Just by saying these three words, his universe expanded and a gazillion possibilities exposed themselves.

‘I’m not straight’, he repeated, a little bit louder now, letting the feel of the words, their true meaning enter his true Self. ‘And, I think… I know… I like you, too’

He looked at Adam. He had never felt this vulnerable in his whole life. His breath got caught in his chest while he waited for Adam to respond.

‘What? You… What? No!’

‘Yes’

‘No. But how? You never… And you got really pissed… and last night wasn’t… you… it can’t?’

‘I don’t know how. And of course I never showed you, because I didn’t know myself. I got pissed because you came in crashing and stirring and I couldn’t handle it. Last night was wonderful and hot too, but new and scary. And… it can.’

Tommy Joe smiled as he saw the struggle in Adam’s mind, coming to grips with what he just heard and what it meant. What it could mean.

He was surprised he could make sense of Adam’s babbling and answer the questions that were behind it. Now that he let himself feel he could read Adam clearly, the guy’s an open book if you let yourself turn the pages.

For a while they both sat still, both staring at nothing and nowhere. Tommy Joe figured words weren’t going to cut it, to get through the confused man sitting next to him.

He looked at Adam. Now that he had gotten to grips with his feeling he let himself really look. _He truly is gorgeous, he thought, beautiful. And I need him to be mine._

Tommy Joe grabbed Adam’s right shoulder with his left hand, startling him. He looked into the apprehensive blue eyes and kept looking as he moved closer and put his right leg over Adam’s legs.

Sitting in Adam’s lap he noticed how and where their body’s touched. His back legs on Adam’s thighs, his hands on the broad shoulders. His butt against Adam’s groin.

A blush crept up his neck, as it did up Adam’s.

Tommy Joe leaned forward, then lowered his head next to Adam’s face, his nose almost touching Adam’s neck. He inhaled, deeply, taking in Adam’s smell. Rich, musky, manly. He remembered all the other times they had been this close and the way Adam’s smell had affected him. He sniffed again, dragging his nose up Adam’s neck till behind his ear. ‘Smell so good’, he whispered against his ear shell. He turned his head a bit up, his lips an inch from Adam’s. ‘I like you… Adam… I want you’. Then he closed the gap between them, in every way possible. He kissed the freckled lips he had been staring at just before, while melting into the solid body that finally started to relax.

It felt like a victory, taking charge like that and feeling Adam open up for him, their tongues touching, searching.

And it didn’t take long for Adam to get with the program. Tommy Joe felt Adam’s instincts take over, his hands on his shoulder blades, pulling him even closer, then moving down on his back.

Their chests were flush against each other now, Tommy Joe felt tiny as Adam enveloped his upper body around, holding him like a life buoy.

The hands on his back travelled southwards, cupping his ass, and their groins were pressed together. He was hard, and so was Adam.

Suddenly, Adam held his hands on his hips, putting some distance between their bodies. ‘Tommy Joe, are you sure? God, please tell me you are. Kissing you is fucking amazing. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if you keep going’.

Tommy Joe chased after Adam’s lips, catching them finally and held on to his bottom lip with his teeth as he murmured: ‘M’sure’.

A moan escaped from Adam’s lips. ‘You’re gonna be the end of me. You are’.

Before he knew what was happening Tommy Joe was lifted and on his back on the couch, Adam crawling over him with dark eyes filled with lust.

Tommy Joe shivered. His body was completely covered by a larger than life, aroused, male and for a moment he thought he would come right then and there.

Just as they kissed, Adam’s phone rang. They ignored the annoying sound, in favour of locking lips and wrestling tongues. But the ringing didn’t stop. Adam groaned, pushing himself off of Tommy Joe and grabbed his phone.

‘What?!!’, he all but yelled into it.

Tommy Joe saw Adam’s face go from angry to surprised to a look of guilt. ‘Yes. Of course. I’m sorry. I’ll be right there’.

He turned to Tommy Joe, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle finger. ‘God, fuck this. Forgot about a meeting with a producer for the lead in ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’. I have to go. I’m so sorry.’

‘Are you kidding me? Adam? Really?’, Tommy Joe asked.

Adam’s shoulders fell.

‘In what universe, Adam, is that an actual title to anything?’ An evil glint in brown eyes.

Adam’s face broke in a huge grin as he heard the consent in Tommy Joe’s voice.

‘O, shut it. It’s a great musical. And you better still be here when I get back. ‘ I’m gonna kiss you’, he grabbed Tommy Joe’s neck and planted a hard kiss on his lips ‘and grope you’, his tongue licking his lips ‘and make you squirm’. A last kiss and then he let go and walked the three steps to the door.

‘Go work your magic on that producer. I’ll be here.’

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Adam forced himself to walk out the door. It really was hard to leave when he had felt that gorgeous boy writhing beneath him, just from kissing him. Imagine what he would look like when he would suck him, rim him, fuck him. Make him fall apart.

Adam let a moan escape at that thought as he got in the car.

Being in a conversation with a producer deciding on your next big gig proved to be incredibly difficult when all you can think about is a pretty blonde, getting you naked, kissing you all over, pulling his hair as you take him in…

Adam shook his head, desperately trying to focus, praying the guy had seen him perform often enough for this meeting to be somewhat of a pro forma thing.

‘It was nice talking to you’, the producer said as they shook hands. ‘Great to see you have as much energy and charisma off stage as you have on it. I’ll get back to you later this week’.

Adam managed to thank him even though providing a tiny ass with the best rim-job ever was the picture on his retina right now.

Getting back in the car he tried to pull himself together, adjusting the raging hard on in his pants. _The guy just came out, and he’s a virgin when it comes to men. This is not gonna be a three-day all inclusive fuck fest, you maniac. Cool down!. He needs to adjust, I need to take it slow._  

He parked in front of his apartment and took a deep breath _. I’ve got to expect him to be careful and apprehensive. Mustn’t scare the boy away…_

It was safe to say the very last thing Adam had expected was Tommy Joe lying on his couch, naked but for the pants and underwear around his ankles, lazily stroking his half hard cock.

The blonde looked up when he heard Adam, catching him in a lustful gaze accompanied by a devilish grin.

‘I was thinking about you. Had to touch. Couldn’t help it’

A tiny pout was meant to portray some kind of innocence. And the sight before him made a need, a want, an ocean deep pool of desire, crash into Adam’s system. He nearly choked on his words. ‘Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?’, he took two steps closer, slowly like a predator, afraid to scare his prey away. ‘How the hell can I woo you, sweetly seduce you, and make love to you slowly and carefully if you’re splayed out like that?’

‘I don’t need wooing, Adam. Let’s skip that ‘kay?’ Another slow stroke of his now hard cock emphasizing his words.

Adam growled, something primal stirring forcefully inside. Then he launched himself onto his knees next to the couch. In one movement he devoured Tommy Joe’s cock swallowing him whole, his eyes locked with brown ones.

For two seconds they looked at each other, then Tommy Joe had to let go, his head falling back while he moaned long and loud.

‘Dear fuck, Adam. That is amazing. Please… just… keep… please’.

Adam smirked around the throbbing cock in his mouth. He loved that he could make Tommy Joe babble like this, just by sucking him.

He hummed, his tongue flat against Tommy Joe’s shaft, lapping at it next as if catching dripping ice cream from a snow cone.

He felt hands grabbing his hair, just a bit too harsh to be comfortable, but protesting was difficult with a mouth full of tasty dick.

‘So’, he pulled off, catching his breath for a second. ‘You like to play rough, hm?’, he teased.

Tommy Joe’s head snapped back up. ‘What? No! I mean yes! Fuck. I’m sorry. It’s just so good. Never had anyone blow me like that. Couldn’t help myself’.

Adam smirked. ‘Then hold on tight, mister. I’m gonna make you explode in my mouth, if you let me’.

He put Tommy Joe’s hands back in his own hair and sloppily and calmly sucked the delicious dick into his mouth, starting with his lips tight at the tip, opening wide while lowering down. Then he started sucking for real.

The sounds coming from the blonde’s sinful lips went straight to his groin. If Tommy Joe kept this up, he would come himself just from doing this.

Too soon he felt Tommy Joe’s balls tighten. He wasn’t done yet, wanted it to last longer. So just before Tommy Joe’s orgasm came crashing in, he pushed two fingers onto his perineum, while gently tugging his balls.

Tommy Joe squeaked and looked down with a mix of shock and awe. ‘What the hell did you do? I was about to shoot and then it retracted or something. How did you do that?’

‘Wasn’t time for you to come yet.’, Adam grinned, then cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. ‘Nobody’s ever done that to you before?’

Tommy Joe shook his head vigorously. ‘No. No. Never. It’s… awesome. Can you teach, me?’ He batted his eyelashes looking down at Adam. ‘I can be your apprentice’.

Adam growled. Pretty, hot, fun, sexual and willing to learn. This guy was really too much.

He got to his feet, hovering over Tommy Joe, nipping at his earlobe as he breathed heavily into his ear. ‘I will teach you everything I know, if you’ll let me’.

‘Hell yeah’, Tommy Joe whispered, suddenly shy again, realizing what they had just exchanged, ‘Yes, I will let you’.

The answer and the want in his voice was enough for Adam to yank at Tommy Joe’s arm, getting him to his feet. ‘We need to take this to the bedroom’.

Tommy Joe nodded and nearly fell as he tried to move. Adam caught him by his armpits, both looking down at the boxers and pants still tangled around Tommy Joe’s ankles.

And Adam didn’t think, he maybe should have, but he didn’t. He tightened his hold under the blonde’s arms and lifted him three inches from the ground. Tommy Joe’s eyes widened as he was shaken quite strongly. He felt the clothing slip from his feet to the floor.

‘What the….?’ He started.

Adam froze, still holding Tommy Joe in the air. ‘O god… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Didn’t mean anything by it.’ He put Tommy Joe down, taking a big step back.

‘I just wanted to help. And you’re so tiny, and I can…it’s hot…, Adam face palmed with force.

‘Fuck, I’ve screwed up. Didn’t I?’

‘You… manhandled me…’

Adam nodded, hand still covering his face.

‘I can’t believe it turned me on…’

Adam peeked through his fingers, finding Tommy Joe standing there staring at him, his eyes even darker, slightly shivering, his cock upright proud and fierce.

‘I think… we really, really need to take this to the bedroom, Adam’.

It took well over a minute for Adam to lower his hand, taking in the sight of the obviously still aroused gorgeous man, while letting himself feel the force of his dominance, his desire to own this man to take control.

He grabbed the back of Tommy Joe’s neck and pulled him towards him, using his arm strength, and forced his mouth on Tommy Joe, who instantly went pliant, melting against him.

The sound ripping through Adam’s body, falling from his mouth, a lust induced, overheated, nearly aggressive growl managed to scare them both. They pulled apart, staring at each other.

But then Tommy Joe was all over him again. ‘Please, Adam, please. Fuck. Come on. Please’. he begged, his hand tearing at Adam’s pants.

And Adam gave in, and let go. He grabbed Tommy Joe’s arms, pulling them around his neck, then lifted him off the floor again, bringing the small but strong legs around his waist.

Kissing, licking, sucking his tongue, he carried Tommy Joe to his bedroom, then dropped him on the bed. He stared at him. His whole universe consisted of his need to fuck him, make him his.


	14. Sometimes, the city of sins is a beautiful place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took so long to finish this. The inspiration only came when again walking the surrealistic streets of the place that lent it's name to the title of this fic. On the plain back I started writing this last chapter. It's been a journey. Thanks so much for everyone reading en commenting. And thank you my sweet, sweet beta Jillian/Steef. Love u.

 

 They had been walking up and down Las Vegas Boulevard for two hours now, enjoying every highlight of every hotel, designed to awe visitors. It was as if they had never seen Vegas, even though they had both been living there for years, as if they hadn’t lived it all. And in a way they hadn't. Not through the eyes of men in love. And in love they were. Constantly touching each other, grinning with each eye contact, at times even holding hands.

The way they had connected in that bedroom a week ago had been mind-blowing. The powerful combination of truly making love and having lustful animalistic sex was something Tommy Joe had never experienced. And the comfort he felt at being at the giving and receiving end of it all made him feel... whole.

Brad had jumped up and down, clapping his hands and screeched like a cheerleader when he had found them in bed together the morning after their first night. 'Thank fuck! You have actually come to your senses sooner than I expected.'  He let himself fall between Adam and Tommy Joe, ignoring the visible awkwardness on Tommy Joe's face. 'Darn! Now I don't get to do my ‘you-boys-need-to-get-your-heads-out-of-your-own-and-into-eachother's-ass-speech’. I had it all written down and rehearsed and everything. Even had the perfect outfit for it... with a blue and green dotted tie.'

 Adam and Tommy Joe grinned at each other, shaking their heads at the bouncing Cheeks. 'Well, fuck it. I'm gonna do it anyway. Just pretend you both haven't done the dance of loooovvvee yet as you listen to it.'

And with that Adam and Tommy Joe had found themselves listening to Brad for over fifteen minutes as he went on and on about how the universe always gives you what you need, even if it isn't always what you want. And what it takes for people to get to know themselves and each other, and how strength can best be found in vulnerability. Only to end the, as they had to admit, moving speech with the forever in their mind engraved words: 'And the thought of Adam fucking you through the mattress is enough for me to thank the universe myself for the two of you meeting each other, since I'll have jerk off material for at least three months. Now, go at it, you two'.

They had kicked him out shortly after that, neither of them ready to admit that the thick sexual tension that had been building up might have had something to do with Brad's words.

Adam had put Tommy Joe on his belly on the bed, splaying his legs wide. His voice was dark and low as he whispered: 'Have you ever had anyone rim you before, Tommy Joe?'. A mere whimper, barely letting the denial filter through, had made Adam groan, his nails creating red lines across the pale lean thighs in front of him.

 'Grab a cushion, gorgeous. You are gonna enjoy this, trust me.' Two minutes flat, that was all it had taken for Tommy Joe to be begging and moaning, his cock flush against his belly, using the bed to get some friction. And the moment Adam's tongue had entered his hole, he had let out a stretched guttural moan. A sound he had never heard himself make. It had been enough to make Adam lose it. 'Fuck, Tommy. I gotta... I have to...' He had scrambled to his knees, positioning himself between Tommy Joe's legs, as he had let a lube covered finger move in and out of Tommy's now pink hole. 'Do it! Please. Take me. Have me. Please' Adam had added a second finger. 'I can't believe this is happening. Can't believe I get to have you. Look at you. So gorgeous, so hot. Fuck'. With his free hand he had stroked every part of Tommy Joe's body he could reach, relishing in the feel of the muscular but tiny body. 'Turn around. Please. I wanna look at you' And losing himself in the lidded brown eyes he had entered him, slowly rolling his hips, trying to stretch out the overwhelming mix of emotions. He had come, still letting Tommy Joe look inside his soul and heart, his hand around Tommy Joe's cock. The blond had stretched his neck as he came forcefully, Adam's name rolling of his lips. And that sight had made Adam lose it completely.

 As a result, a wolfish grin formed on Adam's face. Even now, a week later, standing next to his lover watching the fountains of the Bellagio move ever so gracefully to the music, as he noticed yet again the extensive bite mark just below Tommy Joe's left ear.

 As they walked on, they passed the Aria and Cosmopolitan hotel. Crossing the street Tommy Joe noticed a familiar face behind a counter. He grabbed onto Adam's hand and pulled him into a run. 'Come. I have to do something' Together they got to a halt at the desk of Discount4Tix. Tommy Joe scraped his throat. 'Hi. Remember me? I'm the guy you gifted a ticket to Guys and Dolls to weeks ago?' The woman looked up, recognition visible in her face. 'Yes. Yes! Of course I do, sweetie. There was no way I could have denied you that opportunity.'

Her eyes widened as she looked at Adam, standing next to Tommy Joe with a puzzled face. Then she smiled, knowingly, as only women who have seen it all, can. 'O, I see. You went and made sure Sky Masterson lost the bet, didn't you? Well done, honey, well done.' The smile on Tommy Joe's face made Adam's heart swell. 'I did. It took us a while, but hell yes, he's mine now! And it probably wouldn't have worked out if it wasn't for you!' Tommy Joe put his hands on the desk, jumped up and balanced himself to place a kiss on the woman's left cheek, then bounced back again. 'Thank you', he repeated.

Then he grabbed Adam's hand, running off again.

The woman watched them run off. Sometimes, the City of Unimaginable Sins was a beautiful place.

 


End file.
